1 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:05,638 - [Narrator] You are about to witness the Super Awesome 2 00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:07,607 Story of Mark and Gary. 3 00:00:08,874 --> 00:00:12,578 From the very beginning, they had big dreams. 4 00:00:12,611 --> 00:00:15,648 But they didn't just build extraordinarily large 5 00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:17,116 Lego castles, no. 6 00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:22,055 As teenagers, they discovered a love for the arts. 7 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,724 It was a passion that fueled them both. 8 00:00:24,757 --> 00:00:28,327 Plus, they also got to have sweet sword fights. 9 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,864 Time passed and they grew older, but they were 10 00:00:31,897 --> 00:00:35,535 still inseparable, and Mark's grandma was always 11 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,303 there to support. 12 00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:40,205 They continued to push the boundaries of theater. 13 00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:42,608 Their Hamlet with a Down syndrome Chinese boy 14 00:00:42,641 --> 00:00:45,812 as Ophelia earned them national recognition. 15 00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:49,482 But, they weren't the only ones making waves. 16 00:00:49,515 --> 00:00:52,652 An ex lawyer, Fairfax Ward, was quickly becoming 17 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:55,655 the new face of edgy political theater. 18 00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:59,292 Mark and Gary thought he was a total dick. 19 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,894 They both loved dogs, too, and would make 20 00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:04,497 a bit of money in their down time with a dog walking 21 00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:06,032 business. 22 00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:08,935 They used this quiet time to come up with their next hit, 23 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:12,372 and boy did they come up with a next hit. 24 00:01:13,539 --> 00:01:16,008 Gilded Lilies was totally awesome. 25 00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,978 A gay love story they wrote and directed. 26 00:01:19,011 --> 00:01:21,848 It was a hit with audiences around the world. 27 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:26,352 They were being courted by producers and studios everywhere. 28 00:01:26,385 --> 00:01:29,922 This success allowed them to create work with meaning 29 00:01:29,955 --> 00:01:32,459 and drink super sweet whiskey. 30 00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:37,095 But they held down their jobs at lifelong friend Deb's 31 00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:38,598 comic book shop. 32 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:41,634 They got to play with toys whenever they wanted, 33 00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,803 which was pretty sweet. 34 00:01:43,836 --> 00:01:47,373 Sometimes, greatness is thrust upon the least 35 00:01:47,406 --> 00:01:49,342 likely of people. 36 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:53,546 In a world that demands change, equality, and celebration, 37 00:01:54,513 --> 00:01:56,916 leaders are required. 38 00:01:56,949 --> 00:02:00,853 Mark and Gary had no idea what lay around the corner 39 00:02:00,886 --> 00:02:02,121 for them. 40 00:02:02,154 --> 00:02:04,056 Over to you, boys. 41 00:02:04,089 --> 00:02:07,827 - Who are you to stand here on stolen soil and tell us 42 00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:09,929 that we can't come here? 43 00:02:09,961 --> 00:02:11,497 Racist. 44 00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:13,032 War. 45 00:02:13,065 --> 00:02:16,136 It is also bad, we have Frankenstein. 46 00:02:17,169 --> 00:02:18,238 But I am you. 47 00:02:22,841 --> 00:02:25,912 - Listen, Dostoevsky tomorrow night, directing. 48 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,146 So listen. 49 00:02:27,179 --> 00:02:28,681 I'm only getting 17 cats into that dilapidated 50 00:02:28,714 --> 00:02:31,083 converted jail, I want you two to be there. 51 00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:32,318 What do you say? - Great, love to. 52 00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,586 - Cheers, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 53 00:02:33,619 --> 00:02:35,454 Deals with the rejection of utopian socialism. 54 00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:36,956 What were you guys saying? 55 00:02:36,989 --> 00:02:39,158 - Refugees struggling-- - Love your African's abs. 56 00:02:39,191 --> 00:02:40,693 That shit's smart. 57 00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:52,705 Yeah, yeah. 58 00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:58,544 Can't get enough of that shit. 59 00:02:58,577 --> 00:03:00,780 Tomorrow night, that shit will be on tap. 60 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:01,648 Yo. 61 00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:07,420 - Hey, guys. - Hey, hey. 62 00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:10,156 - Oh, guys, that was just, I don't know. 63 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,691 Wow. 64 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:12,959 - Thanks, Deb. - Thanks, Deb. 65 00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,094 - Alan fucking brung it. - Yeah, it was awesome. 66 00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:16,229 - Great. 67 00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:19,432 What are you looking at? - Racism is bad. 68 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:20,900 - [Both] It is. 69 00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:22,234 - Nothing better than two white boys telling me 70 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,736 how hard it is to be black. 71 00:03:23,769 --> 00:03:25,004 - Oh, dude, that's not-- - Just yanking your wang. 72 00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:26,505 It was shit, though. 73 00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:29,976 - Thanks, appreciate it, man. - I'm white. 74 00:03:34,313 --> 00:03:35,113 - All right here we go. 75 00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:36,548 Here we go, mate. 76 00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:42,722 - Wanker. 77 00:03:47,893 --> 00:03:48,728 Oh, man. 78 00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:53,199 Every Rocky movie after the original was critically 79 00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,067 panned and yet the franchise has grossed over 80 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,569 a billion dollars. - OK, firstly, 81 00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,504 we'll be lucky to make a hundred bucks with our play, 82 00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:01,340 secondly, Rocky is a dumb action movie. 83 00:04:01,373 --> 00:04:03,009 - It's not a dumb action movie. 84 00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,077 It's one of the most beautiful love stories ever told. 85 00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,446 - No, no, PS I Love You is a love story. 86 00:04:07,479 --> 00:04:09,949 Rocky is not a love story, it's an action movie. 87 00:04:09,982 --> 00:04:11,350 - Are you retarded? - No. 88 00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:13,219 Rocky is a movie about a retarded boxer. 89 00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:15,821 Adrian, Adrian. - It's a metaphor for life. 90 00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:17,256 - Yeah, but it's the only metaphor you 91 00:04:17,289 --> 00:04:18,690 use for anything ever. - Yeah, there's 92 00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:19,991 a reason for that. - Whatever, let's just agree 93 00:04:20,024 --> 00:04:21,726 to disagree. - Fine. 94 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,728 - Hey guys. 95 00:04:22,761 --> 00:04:23,729 - Hey, Deb. - Looking good. 96 00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:25,298 - Thanks. 97 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:26,365 - What's up, fellas? 98 00:04:26,398 --> 00:04:27,566 Disturbance in the force? 99 00:04:27,599 --> 00:04:29,468 - The review, she gave it one out of 10. 100 00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:30,870 - She's lame. 101 00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:32,505 She's a middle school coordinator of Lameville High. 102 00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:35,374 Hey, I was watching some Robert Kiyosaki on YouTube, 103 00:04:35,407 --> 00:04:37,376 and he said something about first one through 104 00:04:37,409 --> 00:04:38,811 the wall gets a bit bloodied. 105 00:04:38,844 --> 00:04:40,680 - Didn't he just go bankrupt? 106 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,316 - Keep fighting the good fight. 107 00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:48,154 - I've had worse reviews. - Often times, 108 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,289 the first one through the wall gets a bit bloodied. 109 00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:52,224 - You guys suck. 110 00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:53,926 - Whatever, sugars. 111 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,294 - Hey, bring it, OK? 112 00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:56,962 Paying audience, bring it. 113 00:04:56,995 --> 00:04:59,632 (hip hop music) 114 00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,377 - Hi. - Hey, glad you could make it. 115 00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:12,511 - Are you kidding? 116 00:05:12,544 --> 00:05:15,046 We fucking love Dostoevsky. 117 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,317 (dramatic music) 118 00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:20,453 - Let's go in. - Let's go. 119 00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:25,091 (rock music) 120 00:05:30,028 --> 00:05:32,031 - Is that Jack Simpson? - Fuck yeah. 121 00:05:32,064 --> 00:05:33,999 - Do you want to meet him? - Serious? 122 00:05:34,032 --> 00:05:36,234 - Yeah, yeah, no worries. - Hey, Jack. 123 00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:37,635 Jack, hey. 124 00:05:37,669 --> 00:05:38,938 It's Mark. 125 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,639 - Hey, Gary. 126 00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:41,874 Gaza. 127 00:05:41,907 --> 00:05:43,241 Gilded Lilies. - Yeah, right. 128 00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:44,777 How are you doing guys? - Good. 129 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,379 - Been a while, yeah? - Not that long. 130 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,147 Just we know each other. - Yeah, hey, look, 131 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,715 this is Violet and Paige. 132 00:05:49,748 --> 00:05:53,919 - Can I just say I loved you in Legal Murder? 133 00:05:53,952 --> 00:05:56,822 - Sorry, and West Side Story. 134 00:05:56,855 --> 00:05:59,425 You like, such masculinity and-- 135 00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:00,593 - Thanks, ladies. 136 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,294 You guys catch Gilded Lilies? 137 00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:04,797 These guys were absolutely incredible in that. 138 00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,699 I mean, seriously, honest work. 139 00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:08,000 And that kiss, guys. 140 00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:10,369 It totally broke me, yeah? 141 00:06:10,402 --> 00:06:12,171 You doing a film version or something? 142 00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:13,672 - Yeah, we've written it. - Some producers optioned it. 143 00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:16,207 - Yes, it's in the works, but what are you up to? 144 00:06:16,241 --> 00:06:18,344 You must be filming and like doing all sorts of cool-- 145 00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:21,214 (melodic honking) 146 00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,888 - Jack fucking Simpson. 147 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,156 (laughing) 148 00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,590 - Fairfax fucking Ward. 149 00:06:31,623 --> 00:06:33,692 - Jack Simpson in the flesh, as I live and breathe. 150 00:06:33,725 --> 00:06:35,761 The jewel in our artistic world. 151 00:06:35,794 --> 00:06:38,697 (laughing) 152 00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:39,832 Oh, man. 153 00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:41,534 Look at you. - Hey, Fairfax. 154 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,935 - Hey, Mack, Guy. 155 00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:44,270 - It's Mark. - Gary. 156 00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:47,506 - My God, come here, come here, come here. 157 00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:48,741 Oh, man. 158 00:06:48,774 --> 00:06:49,708 - Didn't I tell you I'd come? 159 00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:52,178 (chattering) 160 00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:55,848 - You look beautiful, man. 161 00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:57,215 Thank you, thank you. 162 00:06:57,249 --> 00:06:59,452 - Since that nightmare. - Don't even talk about, 163 00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:00,786 I can't even laugh about that. 164 00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:02,154 I can't even laugh about that. 165 00:07:02,187 --> 00:07:04,890 - Worst show ever. - That shit you showed 166 00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:06,525 last time might have won that prize. 167 00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:08,394 - Oh, sorry, we don't make undies for a living. 168 00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:10,429 - Carl and Shay have an underwear line specifically 169 00:07:10,462 --> 00:07:12,198 for the contemporary gay. 170 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:14,099 - Soft men's wear. - Expanding into the lesbian 171 00:07:14,132 --> 00:07:15,234 market next spring. 172 00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:17,170 - I'll keep an eye out. 173 00:07:19,471 --> 00:07:20,940 - No tweeting at the table. 174 00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:22,441 - Fuck off you fat fucking orange face. 175 00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:23,709 - You know I hate that shit. 176 00:07:23,742 --> 00:07:25,144 - Twitter's for nerds. - No, it's hands down 177 00:07:25,177 --> 00:07:27,746 the best social media platform, it is an all access pass. 178 00:07:27,779 --> 00:07:29,114 Anything's possible. 179 00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:30,582 - Jay's like God in Twittersphere. 180 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,051 He's got a million followers. 181 00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:33,752 - One point one million, fat. - Why are you so popular? 182 00:07:33,785 --> 00:07:36,288 - I am an entrepreneur. 183 00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:38,123 - Fuck off, you make undies, man. 184 00:07:38,156 --> 00:07:39,992 - Fuck off, you walk dogs. - You walk dogs? 185 00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:41,527 - No. - When he's not 186 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,628 selling comics. 187 00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:44,497 - You sell comics. 188 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:48,299 - Better than undies, right? - Those undies got us a two 189 00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:50,169 bedroom apartment in the heart of the city. 190 00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:51,971 Meanwhile, you two drag your dicks along the ground, 191 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,305 don't do nothing. 192 00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:54,540 - Really, I've got so many-- - Stay. 193 00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:56,407 - I need to learn some lines for tomorrow. 194 00:07:56,441 --> 00:07:59,979 - I'll call you, I'll call you, I'll call you tomorrow. 195 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:01,581 - So, I'll text ya. 196 00:08:03,048 --> 00:08:04,216 - You know that's like the hottest, they're the most 197 00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:06,619 beautiful women. - Those fucking girls. 198 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,753 They were so hot. - Was that supposed 199 00:08:08,787 --> 00:08:10,522 to be Al Pacino? - It is Al Pacino, 200 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,892 mother fucker. - No, it's about hu-ah. 201 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:14,093 She got a great ass. 202 00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:16,828 - She got a great personality. 203 00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:18,497 - She got a great dress on. 204 00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:21,700 - She got a great recipe for a muesli bar slice. 205 00:08:21,733 --> 00:08:25,104 - She got a great set of shoes that are orthopedic 206 00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,906 and don't give her back pain. 207 00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:28,707 - Let's go play Twister. - I'm hungry. 208 00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:29,642 - [Shay] Man, you've already had 209 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:30,576 like four fucking Pad Thais. 210 00:08:30,609 --> 00:08:31,810 - Well, I'm a big boy, aren't I? 211 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,212 - Fuck yeah you are. - It's not fucking 212 00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:34,947 porn Twister. 213 00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:37,449 (beeping) 214 00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:38,317 Game off. 215 00:08:40,619 --> 00:08:42,588 - What an angel. 216 00:08:42,621 --> 00:08:44,823 Listen to her message. - Who? 217 00:08:44,856 --> 00:08:46,025 - My niece. 218 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,360 - Meh. - What do you mean, andquot;Meh 219 00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:50,296 - I mean, andquot;Meh, 220 00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,497 What, it's not like it's yours. 221 00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:54,165 - It's my niece, bro. 222 00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:55,367 - OK, rolling. 223 00:08:57,669 --> 00:08:59,138 - Hello, Muffy. 224 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,173 You look even more beautiful than the real Snow White. 225 00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:03,776 - And she is hot. - Happy birthday, sweetie. 226 00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,343 Wish I was there. 227 00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:08,646 Now here's my friends to say something very special. 228 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,949 (coughing) 229 00:09:11,783 --> 00:09:12,785 - Muffy. 230 00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,887 Hi, I'm Gary, you're little. 231 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,823 Don't forget, you can't be in your princess shoes 232 00:09:17,856 --> 00:09:19,858 after midnight, it's time to change. 233 00:09:19,891 --> 00:09:22,828 - It's not Cinderella. - We're all the same. 234 00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:25,931 Cinderella, Snow White, Darth Vader. 235 00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:28,300 Oh, and don't eat too much sugar. 236 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,735 It's the baddest. 237 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,005 - Hey, Fluffy. 238 00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,775 I think it's really sad that Snow White ate the red apple 239 00:09:36,808 --> 00:09:38,811 and went to sleep for so long. 240 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,013 It makes me really sad. 241 00:09:41,046 --> 00:09:43,983 I really think we should do something about it. 242 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:47,185 I hope your life isn't doomed like hers. 243 00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:49,254 - She's two, you fucking morons. 244 00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:53,125 - All right, I didn't know you were like into kids and shit. 245 00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:54,660 - I love her, have some respect. 246 00:09:54,693 --> 00:09:56,495 - [Gary] Well, if you love 'em so much, get your own. 247 00:09:56,528 --> 00:09:57,763 - Maybe we will. 248 00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:58,597 (coughing) 249 00:09:58,630 --> 00:09:59,465 - What? 250 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:00,433 Like adopt? 251 00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,369 Do you guys want to get married? 252 00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,837 - Well, it's not that easy. - Especially with your dad. 253 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:06,872 Fucking conservative coconut. 254 00:10:06,905 --> 00:10:09,608 You fat fucking islander. 255 00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:11,977 - Actually, that's not a bad idea. 256 00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,212 - What? 257 00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,180 - Like, a couple of, like a play, you know? 258 00:10:15,213 --> 00:10:17,483 Like a musical, there's like a couple of guys 259 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:21,587 that want to get married, but they can't. 260 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,122 - Yeah, fuck yeah. 261 00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:26,425 Like anti marriage shit. 262 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:30,429 Equality stigma. - Family full of haters. 263 00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:33,866 - Fucking chuck in a Chinese kid that's fucking adopted. 264 00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:37,703 - You know, just crack open what it's like for you gays, 265 00:10:37,736 --> 00:10:39,004 you guys. - They could have AIDs, 266 00:10:39,037 --> 00:10:42,675 one of 'em. - Or it could be like Glee. 267 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,043 - What, a musical? 268 00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,377 - Fuck yeah. - Fuck yeah. 269 00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:47,079 - Fuck yeah, mm hmm. 270 00:10:48,413 --> 00:10:50,249 - That's actually not a bad idea, boys. 271 00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:52,751 Except for the AIDs part. - It's current. 272 00:10:52,784 --> 00:10:54,218 - Nah, musicals are expensive. 273 00:10:54,252 --> 00:10:56,155 - Fuck that, when I get my docko-- 274 00:10:56,188 --> 00:10:57,289 - Here we go. 275 00:10:58,156 --> 00:10:59,590 - No, no, no, OK. 276 00:10:59,624 --> 00:11:01,226 I raised-- - 75,000 through 277 00:11:01,259 --> 00:11:02,661 crowd sourcing, we know. 278 00:11:02,694 --> 00:11:04,128 - Listen, morons. 279 00:11:04,162 --> 00:11:06,198 Most of the gay community still remember you two 280 00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:07,633 from the Gilded Lilies. 281 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:08,934 You have an in. 282 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:14,473 There's money to be made in something like this. 283 00:11:17,809 --> 00:11:20,779 - [Woman] I love you, but I can't be with you. 284 00:11:20,812 --> 00:11:22,247 You're my brother. 285 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,882 - [Narrator] Next week on Days of Our Lives, 286 00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:26,752 Neville McBebee guest stars. 287 00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:30,021 (chattering, laughing) 288 00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:34,360 - Man, Neville McBebee. - The Bebe. 289 00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:37,129 - [Gary] Grandma. 290 00:11:37,162 --> 00:11:38,931 - Gary and I got a beard on Ebay for this Darth Vader 291 00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,133 suit, and it's like a full replica from on set. 292 00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,001 - Yeah, it's like directly from the movies. 293 00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:44,670 - Helmet, chest plate. - You wouldn't know. 294 00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:45,938 It's like you're in the movie. 295 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:47,306 - It's an original replica. 296 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,108 Because we've had an idea. - Yeah, right. 297 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:51,209 So, it's this one man show with Darth Vader, 298 00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,712 kind of post the Death Star exploding, him having 299 00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:55,247 to reconnect. - A story of redemption. 300 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,382 - Find his wife again. - It's beautiful. 301 00:11:57,415 --> 00:11:58,916 It's beautiful. 302 00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,419 There's some really honest moments with Darth Vader 303 00:12:00,452 --> 00:12:01,987 just confessing about all the bad shit he's done. 304 00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:04,990 - My life is ruined. - I didn't have a daddy 305 00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:06,625 and that's why I was mean to you. 306 00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:08,761 - I found a business card on the Emperor's desk 307 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,063 for a psychiatrist, I should go see him. 308 00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:12,698 - Anyway, basically, what we need is-- 309 00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,467 - OK, how much? - $50. 310 00:12:18,069 --> 00:12:19,704 - Done. 311 00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:21,240 - Cool, hey, cool. 312 00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:23,175 - Thank you. 313 00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:25,377 Thank you. 314 00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,112 - This looks lovely. 315 00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:29,081 - That cream's awesome. 316 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:31,717 Mm. - Thank you. 317 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,352 I read your review. 318 00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:39,224 You're not getting any younger, boys. 319 00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:40,358 Neither am I. 320 00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,501 (hip hop music) 321 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:54,106 (groaning) 322 00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,309 - Fuck. 323 00:12:57,342 --> 00:12:59,745 (laughing) 324 00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,981 - Hey, hey. - Sup, dickhead? 325 00:13:03,114 --> 00:13:04,516 - I've been looking for you boys everywhere. 326 00:13:04,549 --> 00:13:06,552 - Well, why? - What the fuck is that? 327 00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:07,786 - It's a dog. - Shar Pei. 328 00:13:07,819 --> 00:13:08,687 - Bear coat. 329 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:09,521 (barking) 330 00:13:09,554 --> 00:13:10,756 - Honey I'm Homeless. 331 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,757 - What, did you and Carl have a fight? 332 00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:12,991 - What? 333 00:13:13,024 --> 00:13:14,159 No, I didn't have a fucking fight. 334 00:13:14,192 --> 00:13:15,294 Just shut up. 335 00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:17,897 Watch it. 336 00:13:19,264 --> 00:13:21,266 - Hi, I'm Gary. - I'm Mark. 337 00:13:21,299 --> 00:13:23,802 - [Narrator] Are you tired of being told your love 338 00:13:23,835 --> 00:13:25,871 is inferior? - I think it's really sad. 339 00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:27,606 - It's the baddest. 340 00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:29,842 - [Narrator] How does it feel when someone questions 341 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,244 your ability to raise your child? 342 00:13:32,277 --> 00:13:33,111 - Watch it. 343 00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:34,379 - Watching. 344 00:13:34,412 --> 00:13:36,415 - [Narrator] Love has no boundaries. 345 00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:39,483 How can we be so progressive as a global society, 346 00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:43,021 but still apply these ancient, desert prejudices 347 00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:45,924 to our lives? - We're all the same. 348 00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:48,126 - [Narrator] What will our children say about us, 349 00:13:48,159 --> 00:13:49,928 when they look back at us this time? 350 00:13:49,961 --> 00:13:52,231 - I really think we should do something about it. 351 00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,132 - [Narrator] Well you can. 352 00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:55,601 Honey, I'm Homeless. 353 00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,103 A new stage musical, dealing with marriage equality 354 00:13:58,136 --> 00:14:00,606 through hilarious and heartbreaking relationship 355 00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:04,176 of two men just living a true life. 356 00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:07,613 It's time to stand up, donate your small change 357 00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,048 for a big change. 358 00:14:10,415 --> 00:14:11,550 - Don't forget. 359 00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:14,587 - [Narrator] Together, we will rise. 360 00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:19,124 - OK, so, long story short, did a bag of coke, 361 00:14:19,157 --> 00:14:21,159 whipped this up last night, got it online about 362 00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:23,829 nine hours ago, get it up on Twitter. 363 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,796 You boys went viral. 364 00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:27,699 Ellen DeGeneres retweeted us. 365 00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:28,967 Oh, and there's more. 366 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,769 You boys make 250K. 367 00:14:30,802 --> 00:14:31,937 - K what? 368 00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:33,438 - Dollars. - $250? 369 00:14:33,471 --> 00:14:36,008 - Thousand. - I don't get it. 370 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:36,976 - $250,000. 371 00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:42,114 Gays everywhere went hard and wet simultaneously 372 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,316 and have given you cash money. 373 00:14:44,349 --> 00:14:45,484 - No. - Bullshit. 374 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,718 - Fact. 375 00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:48,185 - Shay, we've never written a musical. 376 00:14:48,219 --> 00:14:49,421 - Let alone a gay one. 377 00:14:49,454 --> 00:14:51,989 - Fact, every musical is gay. 378 00:14:52,023 --> 00:14:55,227 Fact, you two wrote Gilded Lilies, the gayest play ever. 379 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:57,029 - But Shay, that's totally fucking different. 380 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,130 - Shut up. 381 00:14:58,163 --> 00:14:59,698 OK, this is amazing. 382 00:14:59,731 --> 00:15:01,066 You two are brilliant. 383 00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:03,235 Do you guys want to walk dogs and polish He-Man 384 00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:04,403 until you're 70? 385 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,271 OK. 386 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,041 Shh. 387 00:15:11,609 --> 00:15:14,046 This could change your lives. 388 00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:17,215 Fact. 389 00:15:17,248 --> 00:15:18,851 Shit just got real. 390 00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:23,589 - [Both] Fuck yeah. 391 00:15:25,657 --> 00:15:28,327 (hip hop music) 392 00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:45,611 - See ya later. - Let's go. 393 00:16:02,427 --> 00:16:04,563 - [Narrator] Appears to have made history when their 394 00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,465 gay marriage musical, Honey I'm Homeless, 395 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:07,866 received over $250,000-- 396 00:16:07,899 --> 00:16:09,901 - We've got to do some research. 397 00:16:09,934 --> 00:16:12,204 (gargling) 398 00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:15,841 - ET phone home. 399 00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,610 - Mine sounds better. - I think it does. 400 00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:19,979 - ET phone home. 401 00:16:21,346 --> 00:16:22,681 - ET phone home. 402 00:16:24,082 --> 00:16:25,217 - It sounds shit, mine sounds way better, listen. 403 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:27,185 ET phone home. 404 00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:30,055 - You just said it like a kid doing a bad ET impression. 405 00:16:30,088 --> 00:16:31,790 (laughing) 406 00:16:31,823 --> 00:16:33,091 It does. 407 00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:33,959 Let's go. 408 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,333 Oh, Philadelphia. - Nice. 409 00:16:44,869 --> 00:16:47,305 Short Bus? - Yeah, yeah, sweet. 410 00:16:47,338 --> 00:16:49,741 Oh, yeah, Top Gun. - No, it's not gay. 411 00:16:49,774 --> 00:16:51,777 - Dude, that volleyball scene, oiled up bodies, 412 00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,744 it's like life partner with a poodle gay. 413 00:16:53,778 --> 00:16:55,447 - That's more about the style of the '80s. 414 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,748 - [Gary] I really don't think so, little buddy. 415 00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:57,983 That's pretty damn gay. 416 00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:58,516 - Fine, I'm getting Lord of the Rings. 417 00:16:58,550 --> 00:16:59,284 - What? 418 00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:00,519 That's not gay. 419 00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:01,319 - [Mark] Samwise and Frodo were boning, 420 00:17:01,352 --> 00:17:02,587 all the way to Mordor. 421 00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,056 - Dude, they were destroying a ring. 422 00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:05,490 - Metaphor, they were throwing their homosexual 423 00:17:05,522 --> 00:17:06,757 desires into a hole. - That's the dumbest thing 424 00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:07,992 I've ever heard, man. 425 00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:09,061 - I read it online. - Yeah, whatever. 426 00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:09,995 - It was a forum. 427 00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:12,931 It's called Lord of the Ring. 428 00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:15,567 (gentle music) 429 00:17:18,703 --> 00:17:21,373 (phone ringing) 430 00:17:23,374 --> 00:17:25,043 - Yo, what's up, man, hey. - Sup? 431 00:17:25,076 --> 00:17:26,245 How's writing? 432 00:17:30,548 --> 00:17:32,617 - Slow. - There's no pressure. 433 00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,086 You've got heaps of time. 434 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,822 - Yeah, it's just like, it's not our world, you know? 435 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:40,058 We don't know anything about it, dude. 436 00:17:40,091 --> 00:17:42,526 - All right, get hot, put something in your hair, 437 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,331 I'm coming over, we're gonna find some inspiration. 438 00:17:46,364 --> 00:17:49,034 (hip hop music) 439 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:21,265 OK, Mark, Stonewall. 440 00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:22,533 Gary, Tool Shed. 441 00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:23,435 Come on out. 442 00:18:23,468 --> 00:18:25,471 - Enjoy your date night. 443 00:18:28,673 --> 00:18:31,743 Meet you back here in an hour? - Yeah. 444 00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:37,149 (muffled music) 445 00:18:53,698 --> 00:18:54,700 - Ax? - Yeah. 446 00:18:57,268 --> 00:18:59,271 - I used to watch you play. - Really? 447 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,306 - I'm your biggest fan. - Cheers, man. 448 00:19:01,339 --> 00:19:03,707 That was another life. - Yeah. 449 00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:06,178 Can I grab you a beer? - Yeah. 450 00:19:07,512 --> 00:19:10,215 (dubstep music) 451 00:19:10,248 --> 00:19:11,850 - Honey I'm Homeless. - Yeah. 452 00:19:11,883 --> 00:19:14,452 - Oh, that video made me cry so hard. 453 00:19:14,485 --> 00:19:15,986 I donated a 50. 454 00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,756 So, you get your ass in here, boy. 455 00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:18,956 You give or take? 456 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,559 You're not on campus anymore, baby. 457 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:21,459 - I didn't think I was. 458 00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:23,094 No, no, I'm gonna. 459 00:19:23,127 --> 00:19:24,729 - So, what was Cement like? 460 00:19:24,762 --> 00:19:26,831 - Hands down the best car owner. 461 00:19:26,864 --> 00:19:29,468 - What about GT? - He's a prick. 462 00:19:31,569 --> 00:19:33,238 I saw that video, by the way. 463 00:19:33,271 --> 00:19:36,707 - All right, what did you think? 464 00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:38,610 - I think you're playing with fire. 465 00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:40,145 - How do you mean? 466 00:19:41,012 --> 00:19:43,315 - Mate, marriage is forever. 467 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,149 You'd be hard pressed pinning down any of mates 468 00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:49,054 for two minutes, let alone a lifetime. 469 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,855 - OK, really, I've got to go. 470 00:19:50,888 --> 00:19:52,890 - So young. - I'm 30. 471 00:19:52,924 --> 00:19:55,327 - You wouldn't tell. - I really should go, mate. 472 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,360 - Come on, babe. 473 00:19:56,394 --> 00:19:58,029 The party hasn't even started. 474 00:19:58,062 --> 00:19:59,798 Have a whiff of this. 475 00:20:01,966 --> 00:20:02,766 Oh, fuck. 476 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,036 - How's your night? 477 00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:07,906 I met Joey Gibbs. - I met a rapist. 478 00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:13,878 Give us a double cheese, will you? 479 00:20:13,911 --> 00:20:16,548 - Fuck, man, you did have a shit night. 480 00:20:16,581 --> 00:20:18,382 - Whatever, man, just make it. 481 00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,918 - Moment on the lip, lifetime on the hips. 482 00:20:20,952 --> 00:20:22,487 - Meh. - Meh? 483 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,822 - Meh. 484 00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:25,523 Hey, do you know anyone from New York? 485 00:20:25,556 --> 00:20:27,792 - Billy Grabowski. - No, he's in Mambo, isn't he? 486 00:20:27,825 --> 00:20:29,127 - Oh, yeah. 487 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,062 Don't know. 488 00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,866 - Hello. - Mark, Gary. 489 00:20:34,899 --> 00:20:36,635 - Yeah, this is Gary, sorry, who's this? 490 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,503 - Charlie Overton, I'm the head of programming 491 00:20:38,536 --> 00:20:39,971 for the New York Festival. 492 00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:42,240 I saw your video on NBC last night. 493 00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:44,141 - Oh, wow, Charlie, it's great to meet you. 494 00:20:44,175 --> 00:20:46,144 Hey, Mark. - What? 495 00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:49,046 - It's got Charlie Overton on the phone. 496 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,814 He's from the New York Festival. 497 00:20:50,848 --> 00:20:52,584 It's on a video call. 498 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,053 - Hey, Charlie. - Hey. 499 00:20:55,086 --> 00:20:56,321 - Hi, I'm Mark. 500 00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:58,857 Bad reception in here, so we'll just take it-- 501 00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,558 - So, I can't hear you, what are you saying? 502 00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:03,727 Oh, just lost picture on you there, Charlie. 503 00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:04,763 - [Mark] Sorry about that, mate. 504 00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:06,231 Just fiddling with the modem. 505 00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:10,635 Have you got that, is that all plugged in there? 506 00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:11,503 - [Both] Hi. 507 00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:12,737 - OK. 508 00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:14,172 So, the whole town's talking about you. 509 00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:15,674 It's quite the achievement, that much cash in that 510 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,642 little time. - Took us by surprise. 511 00:21:17,675 --> 00:21:18,810 - I'll bet. 512 00:21:18,843 --> 00:21:20,145 So, where's it all at? 513 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:22,247 - Well, we're just workshopping the script, really. 514 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,281 - Got a cast? 515 00:21:23,314 --> 00:21:25,417 - Yeah, pretty much. - Who? 516 00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,721 - Jack Simpson's probably gonna play the lead, actually. 517 00:21:29,754 --> 00:21:31,121 - Great actor. - He is. 518 00:21:31,155 --> 00:21:33,425 We're still casting the romantic lead. 519 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,260 - Well, if it's half as good as Gilded Lilies, 520 00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:36,695 you ought to have a hit on your hands. 521 00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,563 - What, did you see it? - Yeah, Mardi Gras 06. 522 00:21:38,596 --> 00:21:40,632 Broke my heart. 523 00:21:40,665 --> 00:21:42,701 - Wow, that's great. - So, listen. 524 00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:44,168 My opening night show's fallen through. 525 00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:45,804 Predator the Musical. 526 00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:46,671 - Cool. 527 00:21:46,704 --> 00:21:47,772 Was Arnie in it? - No. 528 00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,174 - Carl Weathers? - No. 529 00:21:49,207 --> 00:21:50,642 - [Both] Neville McBebee? 530 00:21:50,675 --> 00:21:52,143 - How the fuck do you know McBebee? 531 00:21:52,176 --> 00:21:53,912 That guy was like an extra in that film. 532 00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:55,413 - Yeah, but he's only like one of the greatest 533 00:21:55,446 --> 00:21:56,947 character actors ever. - Awesome. 534 00:21:56,981 --> 00:21:58,383 - Agreed, he's underrated. 535 00:21:58,416 --> 00:21:59,851 - Do you know him? - I met him at his 536 00:21:59,884 --> 00:22:00,685 pizzeria once. 537 00:22:00,718 --> 00:22:01,553 He's a great guy. 538 00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:02,787 Let's cut the crap. 539 00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:04,723 I need a replacement and from what I've heard, 540 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:06,925 Honey I'm Homeless would be a great fit. 541 00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:09,260 - What was that, what did you say Charlie? 542 00:22:09,293 --> 00:22:11,262 - What I'm saying is, if you guys want to open 543 00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:13,998 the New York Festival, we'd have you. 544 00:22:14,031 --> 00:22:17,569 - Oh, yeah, it's just, it's not quite finished yet. 545 00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:18,703 That's the thing. - It's OK, I understand 546 00:22:18,736 --> 00:22:21,406 the process, so what do you say? 547 00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:26,977 - I don't know what to say. - Great, I'll take that 548 00:22:27,011 --> 00:22:27,846 as a yes. 549 00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:30,782 OK, lots to do, guys. 550 00:22:30,815 --> 00:22:32,350 Opening night's in six weeks. - Six weeks? 551 00:22:32,383 --> 00:22:33,918 Sorry, like from today? - Yeah. 552 00:22:33,951 --> 00:22:36,788 And by the way, don't let me down. 553 00:22:39,657 --> 00:22:41,726 - Hey, weren't you guys meant to be writing? 554 00:22:41,759 --> 00:22:43,228 - Yeah. - We're warming up. 555 00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:44,262 - Take this. 556 00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:47,232 Director's fee. 557 00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:49,267 What? 558 00:22:50,601 --> 00:22:51,436 What? 559 00:22:52,970 --> 00:22:54,539 - You know Charlie Overton. - The producer? 560 00:22:54,572 --> 00:22:56,573 - Yeah, he called us last night and we kind of agreed 561 00:22:56,607 --> 00:22:58,810 that the musical we haven't written should open 562 00:22:58,843 --> 00:23:00,678 the New York Festival. - In six weeks. 563 00:23:00,711 --> 00:23:02,180 In New York. 564 00:23:02,213 --> 00:23:03,782 And we kind of implied that Jack Simpson was attached. 565 00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:05,250 - Which he isn't. 566 00:23:08,853 --> 00:23:10,488 - Buy a TV. - New Air Jordan's. 567 00:23:10,521 --> 00:23:12,023 - Made by Asian toddlers, man. 568 00:23:12,056 --> 00:23:13,825 - Everything we buy is made by Asian toddlers. 569 00:23:13,858 --> 00:23:15,527 - They're your kids. - I'm not having any kids. 570 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,128 - Oh, bullshit, what if Beck Bernstein asked you 571 00:23:17,161 --> 00:23:18,563 to make babies? - Don't talk about 572 00:23:18,596 --> 00:23:19,798 her, please. - What, are you gonna cry? 573 00:23:19,831 --> 00:23:20,965 - Fuck off, you gave Tiff herpes. 574 00:23:20,998 --> 00:23:22,100 - That's true. - You gonna tell her 575 00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:23,368 about that? - Are you gonna tell 576 00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:24,536 Beck Bernstein you love her? - Fuck off. 577 00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:25,837 - You're meeting Jack at midday. 578 00:23:25,870 --> 00:23:27,604 - What, where? - In his shed. 579 00:23:27,638 --> 00:23:30,108 Now, I'm gonna book a rehearsal venue, you start tomorrow. 580 00:23:30,141 --> 00:23:31,176 - But we don't have a script, Shay. 581 00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:32,410 - Figure it out. 582 00:23:32,443 --> 00:23:33,645 - What the fuck are we meant to say to him? 583 00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:34,546 - I don't know, you're creatives, be creative. 584 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,347 Get Jack Simpson. 585 00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:37,882 And in the name of (foreign language spoken), 586 00:23:37,915 --> 00:23:40,085 put some fucking pants on. 587 00:23:41,352 --> 00:23:42,187 - Far out. 588 00:23:43,921 --> 00:23:46,525 (guitar music) 589 00:23:47,558 --> 00:23:49,661 (throat clearing) 590 00:23:49,694 --> 00:23:52,330 - Good day fellas. - Hey, good day. 591 00:23:52,363 --> 00:23:53,298 Cool shed. 592 00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:54,899 What are you doing? 593 00:23:54,932 --> 00:23:56,768 - Just rebuilding a carbie. 594 00:23:56,801 --> 00:23:58,602 Bike. - Sweet. 595 00:23:58,636 --> 00:24:00,205 - You guys ride? 596 00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:01,706 - No. - I have. 597 00:24:01,739 --> 00:24:03,074 - When? - The 10. 598 00:24:04,175 --> 00:24:06,711 - Hey, take a seat. - Thanks, man. 599 00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:17,522 - So, why me? - For the play? 600 00:24:17,555 --> 00:24:18,756 Musical. 601 00:24:18,789 --> 00:24:21,658 - Well, you know, you're Jack Simpson. 602 00:24:21,692 --> 00:24:22,527 - I am. 603 00:24:23,661 --> 00:24:26,231 - So, have you seen our video? - Yep. 604 00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:28,265 - Is it something that interests you? 605 00:24:28,299 --> 00:24:29,301 - Yep. - Why? 606 00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:33,271 - Spent my life being this. - What, like an awesome, 607 00:24:33,304 --> 00:24:35,707 buff action dude. - Yeah, who's got like 608 00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:39,911 the coolest shed in the world and fixes carbies and stuff. 609 00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:43,615 So, like, what does marriage equality mean to you? 610 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:46,551 - Oh, love is a beautiful thing, full stop, I guess. 611 00:24:46,584 --> 00:24:49,020 - Do you have a babe? 612 00:24:49,053 --> 00:24:50,588 - More importantly, what does marriage equality 613 00:24:50,621 --> 00:24:52,057 mean to you guys? 614 00:24:54,358 --> 00:24:56,661 - My grandma, she was from Egypt. 615 00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:59,163 She came here on a boat, took her three months. 616 00:24:59,196 --> 00:25:00,365 - Yep. - You know what 617 00:25:00,398 --> 00:25:01,765 her welcome was? 618 00:25:01,799 --> 00:25:03,868 Local milk baron spat in her face. 619 00:25:03,901 --> 00:25:06,170 - Yep. - She didn't spit back. 620 00:25:06,203 --> 00:25:07,504 She hugged the prick. 621 00:25:07,538 --> 00:25:09,474 - She says I'm not gonna let him. 622 00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:11,342 - She always said, andquot;Be who you are, say what you feel, 623 00:25:11,375 --> 00:25:13,711 andquot;because those who mind don't matter, 624 00:25:13,744 --> 00:25:16,047 andquot;and those who matter don't mind.andquot; 625 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,484 - I think you'll find that was Dr. Seuss. 626 00:25:22,253 --> 00:25:24,621 - Anyway, there's a lot of people out there 627 00:25:24,655 --> 00:25:27,492 that don't matter, right, but they've still got a say. 628 00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:28,726 They're our brothers. - And sisters. 629 00:25:28,759 --> 00:25:30,695 Our fathers. - Politicians, our policemen. 630 00:25:30,728 --> 00:25:33,298 - Our waiters, our teachers. - Our milkshake makers. 631 00:25:33,331 --> 00:25:36,266 Our horse riders. - All those people. 632 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:38,101 We want to change 'em. - Yeah, we want to crack 633 00:25:38,135 --> 00:25:40,104 their skulls with a show tune. 634 00:25:40,137 --> 00:25:42,407 - Dazzling, dancing, all different style. 635 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,409 - A really professional wig. - A love story that would 636 00:25:44,442 --> 00:25:47,612 melt the ice queen of Greenland. 637 00:25:47,645 --> 00:25:49,681 - No, Iceland, wouldn't it? - Greenland's colder. 638 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:50,514 - No, is it? 639 00:25:50,548 --> 00:25:51,716 I don't think it is. 640 00:25:51,749 --> 00:25:52,884 - Well, actually, I saw Wrecking Man in both 641 00:25:52,917 --> 00:25:54,418 countries and Greenland is colder. 642 00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:56,321 - Fuck, I love Wrecking Man, it's like our favorite film. 643 00:25:56,354 --> 00:25:57,722 - So cool. - You know that scene? 644 00:25:57,755 --> 00:26:00,625 Give me back my daughter or I will wreck you. 645 00:26:00,658 --> 00:26:04,663 - How can you wreck me if you can't even see me? 646 00:26:05,963 --> 00:26:07,132 - [Both] Acid. 647 00:26:08,165 --> 00:26:09,834 (screaming) 648 00:26:09,867 --> 00:26:11,970 - I can't-- - Karate chop. 649 00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:16,307 Have fun in hell, Wrecking Man. 650 00:26:16,340 --> 00:26:20,477 - I'll get you, evil nemesis. - Finished? 651 00:26:20,511 --> 00:26:21,913 - Yeah. 652 00:26:21,946 --> 00:26:23,715 - But seriously, like, straight up, Jack. 653 00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:25,183 You're amazing. 654 00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:26,450 - The show is made for you. 655 00:26:26,484 --> 00:26:28,086 - Plus, we already told New York you'd be in it. 656 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:29,954 - You what? - It was an accident. 657 00:26:29,987 --> 00:26:30,822 Sort of. 658 00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:37,361 - So, when do we start? - Nine AM tomorrow. 659 00:26:39,697 --> 00:26:41,032 - I'm in, dudes. 660 00:26:44,435 --> 00:26:46,169 - So, what, do you want to start with some games? 661 00:26:46,203 --> 00:26:47,905 - No, we can't play games with Jack Simpson. 662 00:26:47,938 --> 00:26:50,174 We've got to talk concept, character, motor bikes. 663 00:26:50,207 --> 00:26:51,376 - OK, so what? 664 00:26:52,576 --> 00:26:54,345 It's a couple, they want to get married. 665 00:26:54,378 --> 00:26:56,313 They can't, they've got an adopted Chinese kid 666 00:26:56,347 --> 00:26:58,917 called, I don't know, Zen Jwan. 667 00:27:00,184 --> 00:27:01,485 What are their names? 668 00:27:01,519 --> 00:27:05,023 - Jack can be Oscar, the other guy can be Harvey. 669 00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:06,557 - Hey, Shay, who's playing Harvey? 670 00:27:06,590 --> 00:27:07,992 - Kip Young. 671 00:27:08,025 --> 00:27:10,528 He just wrapped on a huge vampire film. 672 00:27:10,561 --> 00:27:12,629 He is about to pop. - Can he sing? 673 00:27:12,663 --> 00:27:14,032 - Who cares, hot. 674 00:27:14,065 --> 00:27:15,433 - But he's in his mid 20's. 675 00:27:15,466 --> 00:27:16,668 They're supposed to be a couple. 676 00:27:16,701 --> 00:27:18,536 - I'm not a fucking casting director. 677 00:27:18,569 --> 00:27:19,671 Alan, dancer. 678 00:27:21,105 --> 00:27:22,840 - Not every show you do is important, but this one 679 00:27:22,873 --> 00:27:24,175 really is. - Yeah, it's an issue 680 00:27:24,208 --> 00:27:25,877 that's really close to a lot of people's hearts, 681 00:27:25,910 --> 00:27:27,845 so we got to treat it with the respect it deserves. 682 00:27:27,878 --> 00:27:29,580 - But we'll also have a little bit of fun along the way. 683 00:27:29,613 --> 00:27:31,015 - Yeah, oh yeah. 684 00:27:31,048 --> 00:27:33,718 So, just a little insight into our process, 685 00:27:33,751 --> 00:27:34,753 how we work. 686 00:27:41,559 --> 00:27:43,895 - This is not a dictatorship. - Yeah, because when you see 687 00:27:43,928 --> 00:27:48,032 Alec Baldwin, you see the true ugliness of human nature. 688 00:27:48,065 --> 00:27:49,600 (laughing) 689 00:27:49,633 --> 00:27:51,803 - Team America. - Yeah. 690 00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:53,337 Now, look, all ideas are valid. 691 00:27:53,370 --> 00:27:56,040 OK, we want this to be something we can all be proud of. 692 00:27:56,073 --> 00:27:58,142 - Got you. - So, let's start 693 00:27:58,175 --> 00:28:00,011 with a few exercises. - Exercises? 694 00:28:00,044 --> 00:28:01,479 - Yeah, exercises. 695 00:28:01,512 --> 00:28:03,848 So, let's start with a real simple one, it's called 696 00:28:03,881 --> 00:28:06,451 andquot;One thing you do and don't know about me.andquot; 697 00:28:06,484 --> 00:28:07,952 Mark will start. 698 00:28:07,985 --> 00:28:09,687 You just gotta be open and honest, that's the key. 699 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,557 - So, one thing you do know about me is I'm a director. 700 00:28:12,590 --> 00:28:14,125 - I thought Greg was the director. 701 00:28:14,158 --> 00:28:16,394 - It's Gary, and we're both directing. 702 00:28:16,427 --> 00:28:17,562 - That's weird. 703 00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:20,131 - One thing you don't know about me is 704 00:28:20,164 --> 00:28:21,833 I never knew my family. 705 00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:23,735 My grandma raised me. 706 00:28:23,768 --> 00:28:25,370 - OK, I'll jump in. 707 00:28:26,504 --> 00:28:28,639 Good day, my name is Jack. 708 00:28:28,672 --> 00:28:30,641 Guess you all know that. 709 00:28:30,674 --> 00:28:32,844 One thing you do know about me is that I built my own 710 00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:34,044 pop up bungle. 711 00:28:35,246 --> 00:28:39,117 And OK, something you don't know about me. 712 00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:42,487 Well, I recently lost my best mate to cancer. 713 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,354 Fuck. 714 00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:49,560 I just really miss his little meow. 715 00:28:49,593 --> 00:28:51,763 - That's really sad, Jack. 716 00:28:53,898 --> 00:28:56,399 I don't know what I'd do without my little pug. 717 00:28:56,433 --> 00:28:57,268 Dennis. 718 00:28:58,669 --> 00:29:02,206 One thing you do know about me is I'm a movie star. 719 00:29:02,239 --> 00:29:04,108 - Sorry. - Of a vampire flick 720 00:29:04,141 --> 00:29:06,144 coming out May 10, Suck. 721 00:29:07,878 --> 00:29:09,045 Chat about it being the biggest 722 00:29:09,079 --> 00:29:10,581 opening weekend of they year. 723 00:29:10,614 --> 00:29:11,783 - I've got tickets. 724 00:29:11,816 --> 00:29:13,751 - One thing you don't know about me, 725 00:29:13,784 --> 00:29:15,920 I don't have a dad, either. 726 00:29:15,953 --> 00:29:19,124 He shot himself in the face, I was 10. 727 00:29:21,458 --> 00:29:23,461 I found him in the bath. 728 00:29:24,728 --> 00:29:25,964 - OK, new game. 729 00:29:27,231 --> 00:29:30,168 (upbeat pop music) 730 00:30:09,173 --> 00:30:10,975 ♪ There was a guy 731 00:30:11,008 --> 00:30:14,745 ♪ Y'all know him as Harvey 732 00:30:14,778 --> 00:30:17,048 ♪ He had a dream 733 00:30:17,081 --> 00:30:19,984 ♪ Back in the '70s 734 00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:25,056 ♪ Those that were closed would open up their hearts 735 00:30:26,257 --> 00:30:30,361 ♪ And pour themselves a long, cool, dirty glass 736 00:30:30,394 --> 00:30:34,065 ♪ Of Harvey's mother's milk 737 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,004 ♪ Harvey's mother's milk 738 00:30:41,872 --> 00:30:44,508 - OK, yep, go on, Basil. 739 00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:48,044 ♪ There's always people who put you 740 00:30:48,078 --> 00:30:50,781 ♪ Through the ringer 741 00:30:50,814 --> 00:30:54,986 ♪ Fact is some folks just can't take their dairy 742 00:30:56,253 --> 00:30:58,856 ♪ They're absolutely 743 00:30:58,889 --> 00:31:00,690 ♪ Terrified 744 00:31:00,724 --> 00:31:04,395 ♪ Of Harvey's mother's milk 745 00:31:06,697 --> 00:31:10,101 ♪ Harvey's mother's milk 746 00:31:11,835 --> 00:31:13,204 ♪ I said 747 00:31:13,237 --> 00:31:14,472 ♪ Harvey 748 00:31:14,505 --> 00:31:17,475 ♪ Harvey's 749 00:31:17,508 --> 00:31:19,744 ♪ Harvey's 750 00:31:21,312 --> 00:31:23,581 (applause) 751 00:31:24,715 --> 00:31:28,052 - OK, so, why is a straight bloke, yeah? 752 00:31:29,987 --> 00:31:33,024 Gonna want to see a play, a show, that's all 753 00:31:33,057 --> 00:31:35,326 about gay love? - Love, it's all the same. 754 00:31:35,359 --> 00:31:37,828 - I mean, this is a story that transcends sexuality. 755 00:31:37,861 --> 00:31:39,230 Full stop. - That's easy for you 756 00:31:39,263 --> 00:31:42,934 to say, you are gays. - Actually, we're not. 757 00:31:42,967 --> 00:31:45,703 - Then why are you doing a play about them? 758 00:31:45,736 --> 00:31:47,438 - That's exactly why we're doing it. 759 00:31:47,471 --> 00:31:48,706 Break down some of the barriers. 760 00:31:48,739 --> 00:31:50,041 - Look, marriage inequality sucks. 761 00:31:50,074 --> 00:31:52,143 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 762 00:31:53,377 --> 00:31:54,645 Out of tape. 763 00:31:54,678 --> 00:31:56,013 You guys got a spare? - No, I threw mine out 764 00:31:56,046 --> 00:31:57,248 in 1995. 765 00:31:57,281 --> 00:31:58,549 - Suit yourself. 766 00:31:58,582 --> 00:31:59,917 I was getting some good stuff there. 767 00:31:59,950 --> 00:32:01,352 Let's do the photo, yeah? 768 00:32:01,385 --> 00:32:02,220 - Sure. 769 00:32:03,754 --> 00:32:06,122 - Jack Simpson, I will wreck you. 770 00:32:06,156 --> 00:32:08,559 I wouldn't have bothered with you if I knew you were here. 771 00:32:08,592 --> 00:32:09,894 - Good day, mate, how you doing? 772 00:32:09,927 --> 00:32:11,262 - Glen. 773 00:32:11,295 --> 00:32:13,197 - So we have a photo or something? 774 00:32:13,230 --> 00:32:14,332 - Yeah. 775 00:32:14,365 --> 00:32:15,232 OK. 776 00:32:15,265 --> 00:32:16,467 Say cheese. 777 00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:17,835 Oh, Jack, I might just get you to. 778 00:32:17,868 --> 00:32:19,537 Move in, cover Alan. 779 00:32:21,638 --> 00:32:24,675 (photo snapping) 780 00:32:24,708 --> 00:32:26,243 Great, got it. - So, we done? 781 00:32:26,276 --> 00:32:27,478 My ride's here, yeah? 782 00:32:27,511 --> 00:32:28,612 Good to meet ya. - See ya tomorrow. 783 00:32:28,645 --> 00:32:29,914 - Thanks, Jack. 784 00:32:32,216 --> 00:32:33,051 - Alan. 785 00:32:35,786 --> 00:32:36,921 - Right. - Thanks, Greg. 786 00:32:36,954 --> 00:32:38,422 - Thanks. - Glen. 787 00:32:38,455 --> 00:32:42,426 - Hi, Dad, it's me, Kip, I had the best day at school, Dad. 788 00:32:42,459 --> 00:32:44,729 Oh, my gosh, I met a boy. 789 00:32:44,762 --> 00:32:46,864 I think I love him. - Drop the voice, dude. 790 00:32:46,897 --> 00:32:48,331 - No, it's good. 791 00:32:48,365 --> 00:32:50,601 I think I want to marry him, Dad. 792 00:32:50,634 --> 00:32:53,537 Dad, where are you? - You can't marry a man, Kip. 793 00:32:53,570 --> 00:32:55,206 - Don't be like that, Dad. 794 00:32:55,239 --> 00:32:58,343 Dad, where are you? - I'm in the bath. 795 00:32:59,443 --> 00:33:01,479 - Nah, that's a bit dark. 796 00:33:01,512 --> 00:33:03,781 - That's his story, though. 797 00:33:05,282 --> 00:33:09,320 ♪ If only we could tie the knot with Dad's permission 798 00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:17,428 ♪ It's awful 799 00:33:17,461 --> 00:33:19,263 ♪ To be told 800 00:33:19,296 --> 00:33:23,234 ♪ What you can and cannot hold 801 00:33:24,234 --> 00:33:26,904 ♪ I love you so 802 00:33:29,673 --> 00:33:32,910 - OK, so when you're ready, guys. 803 00:33:32,943 --> 00:33:35,980 - You sure you're OK with these lyrics, Kip? 804 00:33:36,013 --> 00:33:37,682 - Yeah, that's fine. 805 00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:40,551 Dad would be proud. 806 00:33:40,584 --> 00:33:42,853 I'm honored, bros. 807 00:33:42,886 --> 00:33:44,155 - So, just remember, it's all about the love between 808 00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:44,989 these two. 809 00:33:45,022 --> 00:33:46,157 OK? 810 00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:47,992 - Just from the top? - Yeah, great. 811 00:33:48,025 --> 00:33:49,427 - Is he gonna be here? - Yeah. 812 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:51,829 - Serious? - Yeah, move in 813 00:33:51,862 --> 00:33:53,031 and, you know. 814 00:33:54,565 --> 00:33:58,469 ♪ If only we could tie the knot with Dad's permission 815 00:34:01,772 --> 00:34:05,943 ♪ Now I know what Rosa Parks must have felt like 816 00:34:07,711 --> 00:34:10,880 ♪ It's awful to be told 817 00:34:10,914 --> 00:34:14,085 ♪ What we can and cannot hold 818 00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:17,554 ♪ I love you so 819 00:34:17,588 --> 00:34:19,857 ♪ So much boy 820 00:34:19,889 --> 00:34:22,060 ♪ So much 821 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,929 ♪ Boy 822 00:34:24,962 --> 00:34:27,364 ♪ Boy 823 00:34:27,397 --> 00:34:28,966 ♪ Boy, boy 824 00:34:28,998 --> 00:34:29,866 ♪ Much 825 00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:30,768 ♪ Boy 826 00:34:30,801 --> 00:34:31,936 - Basil. 827 00:34:31,969 --> 00:34:33,671 - Yeah, I was really vibing that. 828 00:34:33,704 --> 00:34:36,307 (upbeat music) 829 00:35:01,865 --> 00:35:05,236 (phone beeping) 830 00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:06,703 - Oh, fuck. - What? 831 00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:08,572 - Kip's agent's organized him a singing lesson. 832 00:35:08,605 --> 00:35:11,742 He's not coming in. - Well, it's the beginning. 833 00:35:11,775 --> 00:35:13,911 - Of a long, pointless journey. 834 00:35:13,944 --> 00:35:15,045 - Well, we've got to rehearse. 835 00:35:15,078 --> 00:35:16,647 What do we do? 836 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,149 How the hell are we going to pay our mortgage? 837 00:35:18,182 --> 00:35:19,549 - I didn't ask for redundancy, Oscar. 838 00:35:19,583 --> 00:35:21,185 - How are we gonna feed Zen Jwan? 839 00:35:21,218 --> 00:35:23,319 - I got a veggie garden. - Jesus, Harvey. 840 00:35:23,353 --> 00:35:24,855 I could have got a job. 841 00:35:24,888 --> 00:35:26,790 I could have been studying part time. 842 00:35:26,823 --> 00:35:28,893 I could have been selling chicken at the organic 843 00:35:28,926 --> 00:35:30,561 farmer's market. - Who are you? 844 00:35:30,594 --> 00:35:31,495 Mildred Pearce? 845 00:35:31,528 --> 00:35:33,397 - This is not what husbands do. 846 00:35:33,430 --> 00:35:35,198 - We're not husbands. 847 00:35:45,509 --> 00:35:46,344 - Oh. 848 00:35:47,344 --> 00:35:48,913 Oh. 849 00:35:48,946 --> 00:35:51,115 (moaning) 850 00:36:11,435 --> 00:36:15,273 Baby, get in my oven and season it with spunk. 851 00:36:17,975 --> 00:36:20,778 - This is fucking bullshit, mate. 852 00:36:20,811 --> 00:36:23,781 - They're just, they're a highly sexualized couple, Jack. 853 00:36:23,814 --> 00:36:26,283 - This is like a 12 year old's view of like gay intimacy. 854 00:36:26,316 --> 00:36:27,685 These two blokes are having a blow, and what, they 855 00:36:27,718 --> 00:36:30,754 start fucking finger fucking each other? 856 00:36:30,787 --> 00:36:32,223 Have I missed the point? 857 00:36:32,256 --> 00:36:35,058 - No, it's like, in long term relationships, 858 00:36:35,092 --> 00:36:37,861 you can say outrageous things, you can say anything. 859 00:36:37,894 --> 00:36:39,296 - Oh, really, say outrageous things like, 860 00:36:39,329 --> 00:36:41,398 andquot;Park your submarine in my dry dock and 861 00:36:41,431 --> 00:36:42,633 andquot;release the seamen? 862 00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:44,401 - That one is meant to be funny. 863 00:36:44,434 --> 00:36:45,869 - It's not funny. 864 00:36:45,902 --> 00:36:46,737 Fix it. 865 00:36:48,739 --> 00:36:50,207 - [Both] Totally. 866 00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:51,075 - Fuck me. 867 00:36:54,344 --> 00:36:56,380 - Get in my oven. 868 00:36:56,413 --> 00:36:57,982 Was trying to fix it. 869 00:36:58,015 --> 00:37:01,151 This is not what husbands do, we're not husbands. 870 00:37:01,184 --> 00:37:02,953 I think the beget stuff might be a bit much. 871 00:37:02,986 --> 00:37:03,854 - No, it's funny. 872 00:37:03,887 --> 00:37:05,356 - To a prepubescent. 873 00:37:05,389 --> 00:37:07,291 Could we have a flat white and a cappuccino please? 874 00:37:07,324 --> 00:37:08,525 - Comrades. 875 00:37:08,558 --> 00:37:12,396 Shay tells me you guys are kicking major goals. 876 00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:17,368 That's cool. 877 00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:18,969 - Yeah, no, it's going really great. 878 00:37:19,002 --> 00:37:20,004 How are you, mate? 879 00:37:20,037 --> 00:37:22,205 - A little CD with the ST. 880 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:24,942 - Sorry? - Huh? 881 00:37:24,975 --> 00:37:26,110 - What? - What? 882 00:37:26,143 --> 00:37:28,012 - What did you say? - Sorry, man. 883 00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:30,581 Little current development with the state theater. 884 00:37:30,614 --> 00:37:32,316 - All right, cool. - No, man. 885 00:37:32,349 --> 00:37:33,550 Too many hoops. 886 00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:34,518 I've got bad knees, you know what I mean? 887 00:37:34,551 --> 00:37:35,753 I'm stuck. 888 00:37:35,786 --> 00:37:37,221 - Yeah, well, you know, you just got to juice 889 00:37:37,254 --> 00:37:38,689 when the fruit's ready for juicing. 890 00:37:38,722 --> 00:37:39,923 - I love that. 891 00:37:39,956 --> 00:37:41,191 No one wants to eat a hard banana. 892 00:37:41,224 --> 00:37:42,993 - Well, some do. 893 00:37:43,026 --> 00:37:45,095 - Coffee's up. - Cheers. 894 00:37:45,128 --> 00:37:46,563 - Guys, I envy you. 895 00:37:46,596 --> 00:37:48,532 You march on the beat of your own drum. 896 00:37:48,565 --> 00:37:50,835 (drumming) 897 00:37:57,007 --> 00:37:58,142 - Thanks. - Thanks. 898 00:37:58,175 --> 00:37:59,343 - See you later. - No, man, seriously. 899 00:37:59,376 --> 00:38:01,078 You guys, you don't get it yet. 900 00:38:01,111 --> 00:38:02,645 You don't. 901 00:38:02,679 --> 00:38:04,615 The envy, it's green. 902 00:38:04,648 --> 00:38:07,017 It's like the Emerald City. 903 00:38:07,050 --> 00:38:09,386 Minus the flying monkeys, obviously. 904 00:38:09,419 --> 00:38:13,022 Gilded Lilies reached into my heart. 905 00:38:13,056 --> 00:38:16,293 You broke it, you mended it, in 92 minutes. 906 00:38:16,326 --> 00:38:18,929 Of delicious storytelling. 907 00:38:18,962 --> 00:38:21,498 If it wasn't for you guys, 908 00:38:21,531 --> 00:38:25,369 I'd still be pushing pencils in a legal firm. 909 00:38:25,402 --> 00:38:26,837 You believe that? 910 00:38:28,438 --> 00:38:29,674 You believe it? 911 00:38:30,607 --> 00:38:33,009 - I can, I mean, yeah, I can. 912 00:38:38,315 --> 00:38:40,417 (foreign language spoken) 913 00:38:40,450 --> 00:38:41,452 Thanks, man. 914 00:38:45,055 --> 00:38:45,890 - Ah, man. 915 00:38:46,723 --> 00:38:47,925 - Weird, right? 916 00:38:47,958 --> 00:38:49,660 - The guy we thought was basically the biggest 917 00:38:49,693 --> 00:38:51,395 cheese dick in the entire universe just 918 00:38:51,428 --> 00:38:53,596 professed his love for us. - Weird. 919 00:38:53,630 --> 00:38:55,499 - What's all that about? - It's kind of cool, 920 00:38:55,532 --> 00:38:56,734 when you think about it, though. 921 00:38:56,767 --> 00:38:58,234 - Mm. 922 00:38:58,268 --> 00:38:59,636 He pushes the boundaries. - He's got a sweet hat. 923 00:38:59,669 --> 00:39:01,004 - Speaks Arabic. 924 00:39:01,037 --> 00:39:02,939 - Maybe we are on the right track. 925 00:39:02,973 --> 00:39:05,976 - Gentlemen, we're on in three, two. 926 00:39:08,111 --> 00:39:10,814 Welcome back to KSL853. 927 00:39:10,847 --> 00:39:13,117 You are with the Kim Divine Show, listening to 928 00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:17,721 Kim Divine talking to Mark Zeegrab and Gary Eastwood, 929 00:39:17,754 --> 00:39:19,823 creators of the new musical set to open at the 930 00:39:19,856 --> 00:39:22,326 New York Festival next month. 931 00:39:22,359 --> 00:39:23,627 Honey I'm Homeless. 932 00:39:23,660 --> 00:39:25,362 Gentlemen, welcome and I'm quoting from your 933 00:39:25,395 --> 00:39:28,699 press release here, a politically charged, 934 00:39:28,732 --> 00:39:31,335 entertaining romp that charts the struggles 935 00:39:31,368 --> 00:39:35,806 of a homosexual couple desperate to be married. 936 00:39:35,839 --> 00:39:37,808 Entertaining romp. - Yeah, it's full of 937 00:39:37,841 --> 00:39:40,043 great songs and dance numbers. 938 00:39:40,076 --> 00:39:41,812 - To raise your money, you're using what's becoming 939 00:39:41,845 --> 00:39:44,180 quite a popular tool, crowd funding. 940 00:39:44,214 --> 00:39:45,382 Why that route? 941 00:39:45,415 --> 00:39:46,917 - Well, it empowers the individual. 942 00:39:46,950 --> 00:39:48,551 These people are-- - These people Mark is 943 00:39:48,585 --> 00:39:51,588 referring to, they're the gays, they're the lesbians 944 00:39:51,621 --> 00:39:54,458 that are wishing to redefine one of society's 945 00:39:54,491 --> 00:39:56,727 strongest traditions. - I don't think we can 946 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,195 say that marriage is traditional. 947 00:39:58,228 --> 00:39:59,630 It's been evolving forever. 948 00:39:59,663 --> 00:40:02,132 - If it hadn't interracial couples wouldn't be 949 00:40:02,165 --> 00:40:03,567 allowed to wed. 950 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,102 You know, you'd have parents selling their kids 951 00:40:05,135 --> 00:40:06,670 to the highest bidders and princes would be marrying 952 00:40:06,703 --> 00:40:08,205 six year olds, so I think it's-- 953 00:40:08,238 --> 00:40:11,707 - Oh, hear the chimes of the default leftist stance. 954 00:40:11,741 --> 00:40:14,812 Why wouldn't you get your money from a real source? 955 00:40:14,845 --> 00:40:16,346 I don't know, a producer. 956 00:40:16,379 --> 00:40:18,949 - Well, look, with that comes a lot of red tape 957 00:40:18,982 --> 00:40:20,350 and restrictions-- - So, ultimately, 958 00:40:20,383 --> 00:40:23,620 no legitimate organization would touch it. 959 00:40:23,653 --> 00:40:25,923 With minority issues like this, isn't it better 960 00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:28,792 for our politicians in parliament to be debating this, 961 00:40:28,825 --> 00:40:32,997 rather than literally making a song and dance about it? 962 00:40:34,164 --> 00:40:36,033 - Well, firstly, it's hardly a minority issue. 963 00:40:36,066 --> 00:40:38,202 - Many of my listeners would beg to differ. 964 00:40:38,235 --> 00:40:40,871 - I bet they would. - No one has the right 965 00:40:40,904 --> 00:40:42,206 to redefine marriage. - Tell that 966 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,774 to Henry the Eighth. - Gary. 967 00:40:43,807 --> 00:40:45,241 Are you gay? - No. 968 00:40:46,443 --> 00:40:48,412 - Mark, you? - No. 969 00:40:48,445 --> 00:40:49,847 - So, I've got to ask. 970 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:53,951 What makes you the flag bearers for the tyrannized gays 971 00:40:53,984 --> 00:40:55,285 of the world? - We've got a lot 972 00:40:55,318 --> 00:40:56,753 of gay friends. 973 00:40:56,786 --> 00:40:59,957 I played a gay man in a show. - You played a gay man. 974 00:40:59,990 --> 00:41:04,194 Gary, I see here on your CV that you played an 975 00:41:04,227 --> 00:41:06,964 ambulance officer on a soap. 976 00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:08,565 Tell me. 977 00:41:08,598 --> 00:41:12,569 If I was in a car crash tomorrow, could you save my life? 978 00:41:12,602 --> 00:41:14,136 - I have done my first aid certificate, so-- 979 00:41:14,170 --> 00:41:16,240 - I think the point is, you're not a registered ambo. 980 00:41:16,273 --> 00:41:18,242 You were playing a part, yes? 981 00:41:18,275 --> 00:41:20,043 It was a fantasy. 982 00:41:20,076 --> 00:41:21,512 I ask you again. 983 00:41:21,545 --> 00:41:24,281 What makes you two the authority? 984 00:41:26,983 --> 00:41:28,952 See, here's the thing, boys. 985 00:41:28,985 --> 00:41:32,956 I grew up with the Sound of Music, the Wizard of Oz. 986 00:41:32,989 --> 00:41:33,991 That's entertainment. 987 00:41:34,024 --> 00:41:35,392 Honey, I'm Homeless. 988 00:41:35,425 --> 00:41:37,761 I'm sorry, but this sounds like two lefties 989 00:41:37,794 --> 00:41:41,163 cashing in on a hot political issue. 990 00:41:41,197 --> 00:41:42,432 You want to know what I think? 991 00:41:42,465 --> 00:41:45,302 Let them commit, let them even live together. 992 00:41:45,335 --> 00:41:46,904 But marriage is sacred. 993 00:41:46,937 --> 00:41:50,274 Man and woman, full stop, no argument from me. 994 00:41:50,307 --> 00:41:52,709 After the break, it's traffic with Vince Larocki. 995 00:41:52,742 --> 00:41:53,577 We're out. 996 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:02,319 - That guy was a fucking cock. - It's bullshit. 997 00:42:02,352 --> 00:42:03,420 He's a philistine. 998 00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:04,588 - Well, you guys handled it well. 999 00:42:04,621 --> 00:42:05,956 You're never gonna change people like that. 1000 00:42:05,989 --> 00:42:07,224 - Isn't that the whole point? - I suffer all kinds 1001 00:42:07,257 --> 00:42:08,725 of shit because I'm black. - And gay. 1002 00:42:08,758 --> 00:42:10,327 - Yeah. 1003 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,795 But I don't care. 1004 00:42:11,828 --> 00:42:13,030 It's the people on the fence who need to change. 1005 00:42:13,063 --> 00:42:14,464 That's who you need to get. 1006 00:42:14,497 --> 00:42:17,301 Eventually, openness will outnumber prejudice. 1007 00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:18,935 That's why you do the show. 1008 00:42:18,969 --> 00:42:20,037 - Oh, Buddha. 1009 00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:23,907 PS, media launch next week. 1010 00:42:23,940 --> 00:42:25,842 - Hopefully we can teach Kip to sing by then. 1011 00:42:25,875 --> 00:42:27,811 - Yeah, thanks for that amazing piece of casting, Shay. 1012 00:42:27,844 --> 00:42:29,580 - Why don't you get him to speak it? 1013 00:42:29,613 --> 00:42:30,948 Works for Leonard Cohen. 1014 00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:32,516 - Kip Cohen, yeah, cool. 1015 00:42:32,549 --> 00:42:33,951 - How's the show? 1016 00:42:35,385 --> 00:42:36,753 Is it ready? - There's a couple of song 1017 00:42:36,786 --> 00:42:40,057 writing issues, but we'll be all right. 1018 00:42:42,759 --> 00:42:44,561 So, it's legal in New Zealand and-- 1019 00:42:44,594 --> 00:42:46,063 - Mexico, Brazil. 1020 00:42:46,096 --> 00:42:49,967 - Portugal, Iceland, Spain. - South Africa. 1021 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,435 A bunch of US states. 1022 00:42:51,468 --> 00:42:53,270 ♪ Oh Brazil and Belgium 1023 00:42:53,303 --> 00:42:55,505 ♪ Canada and Argentina 1024 00:42:55,538 --> 00:42:58,175 ♪ Israel and Iceland 1025 00:42:58,208 --> 00:43:00,110 ♪ Mexico and Spain 1026 00:43:00,143 --> 00:43:02,379 ♪ Portugal and Sweden 1027 00:43:02,412 --> 00:43:05,982 ♪ Norway, but we're gonna go to the Netherlands 1028 00:43:06,016 --> 00:43:10,621 ♪ To the Netherlands, where we can legally wed 1029 00:43:10,654 --> 00:43:13,857 ♪ And touch your Netherlands 1030 00:43:13,890 --> 00:43:15,926 ♪ Or we could go to Norway 1031 00:43:15,959 --> 00:43:18,462 ♪ So we could do it our way 1032 00:43:18,495 --> 00:43:20,697 ♪ We're getting married 1033 00:43:20,730 --> 00:43:24,902 ♪ Our passion will carry us all the way to the altar 1034 00:43:28,138 --> 00:43:30,273 ♪ Prince Albert will be there 1035 00:43:30,306 --> 00:43:32,743 ♪ And so will the queens 1036 00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:34,944 ♪ We'll diss the reception 1037 00:43:34,978 --> 00:43:37,547 ♪ Have sex like machines 1038 00:43:37,580 --> 00:43:39,415 ♪ It'll be great fun 1039 00:43:39,449 --> 00:43:42,953 ♪ Gonna be covered in cum 1040 00:43:51,961 --> 00:43:53,062 - Hey, wrestler, man. 1041 00:43:53,096 --> 00:43:54,631 I love you. - Oh, I love you, too, 1042 00:43:54,664 --> 00:43:57,467 other wrestler man. - Guess what time it is? 1043 00:43:57,500 --> 00:43:58,969 - What time is it? 1044 00:43:59,002 --> 00:44:02,406 - It's wedding time, dude. - Oh, that's so cool. 1045 00:44:03,606 --> 00:44:05,208 ♪ It's wedding time 1046 00:44:05,241 --> 00:44:06,576 ♪ It's wedding time 1047 00:44:06,609 --> 00:44:08,311 ♪ It's wedding time 1048 00:44:08,344 --> 00:44:10,547 ♪ It's wedding time 1049 00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:12,482 ♪ Dressed in a tux 1050 00:44:12,515 --> 00:44:16,420 ♪ Finally walking down the aisle 1051 00:44:16,453 --> 00:44:20,157 ♪ And I cannot help but smile 1052 00:44:20,190 --> 00:44:23,393 ♪ Hold rings in hand 1053 00:44:23,426 --> 00:44:27,330 ♪ Excitement I cannot withstand 1054 00:44:27,363 --> 00:44:30,634 ♪ You were handsome, I'll admit 1055 00:44:30,667 --> 00:44:34,438 ♪ I've loved you since the day we met 1056 00:44:34,471 --> 00:44:36,306 ♪ It's time to tie the damn knot 1057 00:44:36,339 --> 00:44:38,375 ♪ You know we've waited a lot 1058 00:44:38,408 --> 00:44:39,976 ♪ We wait with grace like a fine wine 1059 00:44:40,009 --> 00:44:41,778 ♪ Come on, it's wedding time 1060 00:44:41,811 --> 00:44:44,581 ♪ Woo hoo 1061 00:44:44,614 --> 00:44:46,650 - Who is Zen Joeanne? 1062 00:44:46,683 --> 00:44:49,152 - Zen Jwan, she's your daughter. 1063 00:44:49,185 --> 00:44:51,688 - In the musical with Harvey. - Jack. 1064 00:44:51,721 --> 00:44:53,157 - Dude, yeah, me. 1065 00:44:55,592 --> 00:44:59,129 - OK, anyway, look, seriously, great, great week, guys. 1066 00:44:59,162 --> 00:45:02,365 So, get home, rest up, early night, we have got 1067 00:45:02,398 --> 00:45:03,734 a media showing tomorrow. 1068 00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:04,935 Woo. 1069 00:45:04,968 --> 00:45:08,437 - I just wanted to say, I love you guys. 1070 00:45:08,471 --> 00:45:09,706 - I love you, too. 1071 00:45:09,739 --> 00:45:11,408 I just wanted to thank God, 1072 00:45:11,441 --> 00:45:13,442 except for my kid being born, 1073 00:45:13,476 --> 00:45:16,780 this is the greatest night in the history of my life. 1074 00:45:16,813 --> 00:45:19,416 Yo, Adrian, we did it. 1075 00:45:19,449 --> 00:45:21,551 - Mark. - Adrian. 1076 00:45:21,584 --> 00:45:23,787 - Dude. - No, I'm just saying. 1077 00:45:23,820 --> 00:45:26,790 You guys are like my Adrian. - Who's Adrian? 1078 00:45:26,823 --> 00:45:29,158 - It's a Rocky thing. - What? 1079 00:45:30,393 --> 00:45:31,728 - Rocky, it's a boxing movie. - It's not just 1080 00:45:31,761 --> 00:45:33,529 a boxing movie. - Doesn't matter. 1081 00:45:33,563 --> 00:45:35,298 Anyway, guys, seriously, get home, rest up, 1082 00:45:35,331 --> 00:45:37,267 I'll see ya tomorrow, bright and early, all right? 1083 00:45:37,300 --> 00:45:39,870 - Yeah, good day. - See ya. 1084 00:45:39,903 --> 00:45:42,071 - See ya, Alan, bye, mate. 1085 00:45:43,606 --> 00:45:44,775 Fucking doing it, man. 1086 00:45:44,808 --> 00:45:46,977 We're having a fucking Broadway musical. 1087 00:45:47,010 --> 00:45:48,345 Boom shaka laka. 1088 00:45:50,580 --> 00:45:51,748 - Fuck, fuck yeah. 1089 00:45:51,781 --> 00:45:53,517 - Fuck the police. 1090 00:45:53,550 --> 00:45:55,418 - Fuck your mom. 1091 00:45:55,451 --> 00:45:56,887 - Fuck fuck boom. 1092 00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,221 - Fuck fuck. 1093 00:45:58,254 --> 00:46:00,056 - Fuck lettuce. 1094 00:46:00,089 --> 00:46:01,424 - Fuck this cup. 1095 00:46:02,659 --> 00:46:04,127 (yelling, grunting) 1096 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:05,828 Fuck a keyboard. 1097 00:46:05,862 --> 00:46:08,098 (laughing) 1098 00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:14,404 - You fuckwoods free tonight? 1099 00:46:14,437 --> 00:46:15,939 - Yeah, sure, man. 1100 00:46:17,607 --> 00:46:18,408 - OK. 1101 00:46:19,809 --> 00:46:21,311 Here you go, guys. 1102 00:46:22,478 --> 00:46:24,347 - Jesus. - Actually butchered these 1103 00:46:24,380 --> 00:46:26,883 myself at my farm. - Oh, cool. 1104 00:46:26,916 --> 00:46:29,186 Do you hunt a lot? - Yeah, fair bit. 1105 00:46:29,219 --> 00:46:31,788 - How many guns you got? - Just the one. 1106 00:46:31,821 --> 00:46:33,356 - How do you hunt a quail? 1107 00:46:33,389 --> 00:46:35,258 - Use a trap, mate. - You ever killed a lion? 1108 00:46:35,291 --> 00:46:36,860 - So, where's your farm? 1109 00:46:36,893 --> 00:46:38,729 - 100 miles northwest. 1110 00:46:39,929 --> 00:46:41,932 - Get there a lot? - Nah, not as much 1111 00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,600 as I used to. 1112 00:46:43,633 --> 00:46:46,035 Did you ever see a fucking lion in the bush, dude? 1113 00:46:46,069 --> 00:46:47,504 (laughing) 1114 00:46:47,537 --> 00:46:49,606 - Well, I wouldn't know, I've never been to the bush. 1115 00:46:49,639 --> 00:46:51,909 (laughing) 1116 00:46:53,910 --> 00:46:56,613 - Hey, who's that? - That handsome bastard 1117 00:46:56,646 --> 00:46:58,148 up there is Billy. 1118 00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:05,922 Actually, Billy and I bought this place together. 1119 00:47:05,955 --> 00:47:07,424 Yeah. 1120 00:47:07,457 --> 00:47:11,361 Bought the farm together, too, but he passed away. 1121 00:47:14,264 --> 00:47:15,365 Listen, boys. 1122 00:47:18,601 --> 00:47:21,772 I've been doing this shit all my life. 1123 00:47:22,639 --> 00:47:23,740 Billy was my, 1124 00:47:26,809 --> 00:47:30,080 and I kept it hidden, for what? 1125 00:47:30,113 --> 00:47:31,281 For my career. 1126 00:47:32,882 --> 00:47:34,217 Pretty shameful, huh? 1127 00:47:34,250 --> 00:47:36,987 So, when I saw your little video, 1128 00:47:37,954 --> 00:47:40,123 I decided that I had to do it. 1129 00:47:40,156 --> 00:47:43,660 I guess it's the closest I'll ever come to 1130 00:47:45,561 --> 00:47:46,830 well, you know. 1131 00:47:50,266 --> 00:47:52,369 - Did Billy like hunting? 1132 00:47:54,337 --> 00:47:55,939 - He fucking loved it, mate. 1133 00:47:55,972 --> 00:47:58,242 (laughing) 1134 00:48:11,421 --> 00:48:13,356 - Full on, man. - Big time. 1135 00:48:13,389 --> 00:48:15,025 - I had goosebumps. - I nearly cried. 1136 00:48:15,058 --> 00:48:16,092 - Really? 1137 00:48:16,125 --> 00:48:17,527 Me, too. 1138 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:18,795 - Wrecking Man's gay. 1139 00:48:18,828 --> 00:48:20,497 - Still a total badass, though. 1140 00:48:20,530 --> 00:48:21,431 - Uber bad. 1141 00:48:23,299 --> 00:48:25,201 Hey, we should write a song about that. 1142 00:48:25,234 --> 00:48:27,069 - What, about Jack and Billy? 1143 00:48:27,103 --> 00:48:30,106 That would be sweet, we could call it Billy's Song. 1144 00:48:30,139 --> 00:48:33,209 ♪ Day by day 1145 00:48:33,242 --> 00:48:35,846 ♪ Hand in hand 1146 00:48:36,879 --> 00:48:38,882 ♪ Strength to strength 1147 00:48:38,915 --> 00:48:41,351 ♪ Man to man 1148 00:48:45,521 --> 00:48:49,292 - Like the final moments before the big fight, isn't it? 1149 00:48:49,325 --> 00:48:51,194 Alone in the ring. 1150 00:48:51,227 --> 00:48:52,662 Doubt. 1151 00:48:52,695 --> 00:48:55,332 I didn't have you watch Rocky as a kid because you loved 1152 00:48:55,365 --> 00:48:56,799 the fights. 1153 00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:59,836 Rocky made the most of every opportunity. 1154 00:48:59,869 --> 00:49:03,006 You couldn't have a better role model. 1155 00:49:04,307 --> 00:49:08,312 Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, 1156 00:49:09,312 --> 00:49:11,647 nothing is gonna get better. 1157 00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:13,850 It's not. 1158 00:49:20,656 --> 00:49:24,327 - Hey, Jack, we wrote you a new song. 1159 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:25,462 It's our final number. 1160 00:49:25,495 --> 00:49:27,497 - The melody's the same. 1161 00:49:34,337 --> 00:49:36,006 - Thanks, guys. - Thanks, mate. 1162 00:49:36,039 --> 00:49:39,109 - Yeah, no worries, man. - We're on. 1163 00:49:39,142 --> 00:49:41,778 - Let's do this, guys. - Sugars. 1164 00:49:41,811 --> 00:49:42,813 - All right. 1165 00:49:44,814 --> 00:49:48,317 (tense, melancholy music) 1166 00:50:14,677 --> 00:50:16,079 - Ladies and gentlemen. 1167 00:50:16,112 --> 00:50:18,281 Introducing Mr. Mark Zeegrab and Gary Eastwood, 1168 00:50:18,314 --> 00:50:20,750 creators of Honey I'm Homeless. 1169 00:50:20,783 --> 00:50:23,153 - Ladies and gentlemen, you're about to witness 1170 00:50:23,186 --> 00:50:26,423 what's been a relatively short, but intense process. 1171 00:50:26,456 --> 00:50:27,624 I've really loved it. 1172 00:50:27,657 --> 00:50:28,825 Gary? - Yeah, mate. 1173 00:50:28,858 --> 00:50:30,326 Equal love. 1174 00:50:30,359 --> 00:50:32,127 This is a really important story and we're just really 1175 00:50:32,161 --> 00:50:35,065 honored to be able to tell it, so without further ado-- 1176 00:50:35,098 --> 00:50:37,433 - [Mark] Let's get this show on the road. 1177 00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:38,902 ♪ It's wedding time 1178 00:50:38,935 --> 00:50:40,770 ♪ It's wedding time 1179 00:50:40,803 --> 00:50:42,404 ♪ Dressed in a tux 1180 00:50:42,438 --> 00:50:43,573 ♪ They look sublime 1181 00:50:43,606 --> 00:50:46,876 ♪ I'm finally walking down the aisle 1182 00:50:46,909 --> 00:50:50,513 ♪ And I just cannot help but smile 1183 00:50:50,546 --> 00:50:53,883 ♪ Holds our rings in hand 1184 00:50:53,916 --> 00:50:57,821 ♪ Excitement I cannot withstand 1185 00:50:57,854 --> 00:51:01,091 ♪ You look handsome, I'll admit 1186 00:51:01,124 --> 00:51:02,991 - You know, sometimes I think I should have stayed inside 1187 00:51:03,025 --> 00:51:05,361 and watered my cactus instead of coming out 1188 00:51:05,394 --> 00:51:07,096 and munching my mattress. 1189 00:51:07,130 --> 00:51:08,898 OK, I'm not interested in the opposite sex, 1190 00:51:08,931 --> 00:51:11,167 but you people want to put a hex on us. 1191 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,002 Not cool, Mr. Politician. 1192 00:51:13,035 --> 00:51:15,471 I see you in court, I think you've been bought. 1193 00:51:15,505 --> 00:51:18,475 OK, I'm an appreciator of Broadway musicals. 1194 00:51:18,508 --> 00:51:20,109 But you're the brown noser. 1195 00:51:20,143 --> 00:51:22,579 I may enjoy an Oscar Wilde quote, but at least 1196 00:51:22,612 --> 00:51:24,581 I'm not fishing for votes. 1197 00:51:24,614 --> 00:51:27,283 How could you sit on this for four weeks? 1198 00:51:27,316 --> 00:51:28,417 - I was trying to fix it. 1199 00:51:28,451 --> 00:51:29,752 - This is not what husbands do. 1200 00:51:29,785 --> 00:51:31,555 - We're not husbands. 1201 00:51:33,422 --> 00:51:34,257 Come here. 1202 00:51:40,830 --> 00:51:44,334 ♪ If only I'd been faster 1203 00:51:47,103 --> 00:51:50,273 ♪ I could have saved the day 1204 00:51:50,306 --> 00:51:53,109 ♪ Ah yeah 1205 00:51:53,142 --> 00:51:56,145 ♪ I would have made your favorite pasta 1206 00:51:56,179 --> 00:51:59,449 ♪ Spaghetti bolognese 1207 00:51:59,482 --> 00:52:02,352 ♪ And not told you that I'm gay 1208 00:52:02,385 --> 00:52:05,421 ♪ Told you that I'm gay, gay, gay 1209 00:52:05,454 --> 00:52:06,556 ♪ Gay 1210 00:52:06,589 --> 00:52:09,625 ♪ I woulda shoulda coulda 1211 00:52:09,659 --> 00:52:11,995 ♪ Ah yeah 1212 00:52:12,028 --> 00:52:15,231 ♪ I promise I'll be true now 1213 00:52:15,264 --> 00:52:18,301 ♪ So true now 1214 00:52:18,334 --> 00:52:22,071 ♪ No more secrets in my world 1215 00:52:22,104 --> 00:52:25,609 ♪ Dad, I'll make ya proud 1216 00:52:35,785 --> 00:52:37,520 ♪ It's here 1217 00:52:37,553 --> 00:52:41,156 ♪ The day I never thought we'd see 1218 00:52:41,190 --> 00:52:44,727 ♪ 200 friends and family 1219 00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,496 ♪ Two matching suits 1220 00:52:46,529 --> 00:52:48,765 ♪ Two wedding rings 1221 00:52:48,798 --> 00:52:51,100 ♪ Too scary 1222 00:52:51,133 --> 00:52:52,401 ♪ You 1223 00:52:52,435 --> 00:52:55,505 ♪ You turned to me and fixed my tie 1224 00:52:55,538 --> 00:52:59,375 ♪ It makes you laugh to know I'll cry 1225 00:52:59,408 --> 00:53:03,513 ♪ It wouldn't be the first time, baby 1226 00:53:05,681 --> 00:53:09,452 ♪ With this ring, I am yours 1227 00:53:12,655 --> 00:53:14,791 ♪ And you are mine forever 1228 00:53:14,824 --> 00:53:17,093 ♪ With this vow 1229 00:53:17,126 --> 00:53:21,064 ♪ We won't hide it anymore 1230 00:53:21,097 --> 00:53:23,833 ♪ Now I know 1231 00:53:23,866 --> 00:53:26,636 ♪ Why they sing about it 1232 00:53:26,669 --> 00:53:27,971 ♪ Write about it 1233 00:53:28,004 --> 00:53:30,707 ♪ Now I see 1234 00:53:30,740 --> 00:53:34,578 ♪ That the future isn't blind 1235 00:53:36,946 --> 00:53:39,249 ♪ Now a man to man 1236 00:53:39,282 --> 00:53:43,519 ♪ And my world seems upside down and crazy 1237 00:53:43,552 --> 00:53:47,224 ♪ But I know I'm in control 1238 00:53:50,459 --> 00:53:52,995 ♪ Now you're here with me 1239 00:53:53,029 --> 00:53:57,467 ♪ Let's seal the deal and shout out loud 1240 00:53:57,500 --> 00:54:01,605 ♪ You have tied me down and set me free 1241 00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:07,410 ♪ We'll go from strength to strength as man to man 1242 00:54:18,087 --> 00:54:20,890 ♪ But first I fought against it 1243 00:54:20,923 --> 00:54:22,892 ♪ I was mean 1244 00:54:22,925 --> 00:54:25,995 ♪ What does a piece of paper mean 1245 00:54:26,028 --> 00:54:30,200 ♪ Two signatures, two blushing grooms, too corny 1246 00:54:31,567 --> 00:54:33,169 ♪ Besides 1247 00:54:33,202 --> 00:54:36,306 ♪ We've been together for so long 1248 00:54:36,339 --> 00:54:39,642 ♪ To boast about it just seems wrong 1249 00:54:39,675 --> 00:54:43,279 ♪ You touched my cheek and just said 1250 00:54:43,312 --> 00:54:45,214 ♪ Baby 1251 00:54:46,982 --> 00:54:49,986 ♪ Let's find out 1252 00:54:50,019 --> 00:54:53,555 ♪ Why they sing about it, write about it 1253 00:54:53,589 --> 00:54:56,426 ♪ Let's just see 1254 00:54:56,459 --> 00:55:00,296 ♪ If that future isn't blind 1255 00:55:00,329 --> 00:55:03,466 ♪ With this ring 1256 00:55:03,499 --> 00:55:07,270 ♪ I'll be yours and you'll be mine forever 1257 00:55:07,303 --> 00:55:10,306 ♪ With this vow 1258 00:55:10,339 --> 00:55:13,910 ♪ We won't hide it anymore 1259 00:55:17,213 --> 00:55:20,717 ♪ And we'll be man to man 1260 00:55:26,522 --> 00:55:28,825 ♪ I know it's crazy 1261 00:55:28,858 --> 00:55:32,762 ♪ But this time I'm in control 1262 00:55:35,431 --> 00:55:38,301 ♪ 'Cause you're here with me 1263 00:55:38,334 --> 00:55:42,772 ♪ Let's seal the deal and shout out loud 1264 00:55:42,805 --> 00:55:46,975 ♪ You have tied me down and set me free 1265 00:55:48,677 --> 00:55:52,849 ♪ We'll go from strength to strength as man to man 1266 00:55:59,054 --> 00:56:01,391 ♪ Day by day 1267 00:56:02,725 --> 00:56:05,295 ♪ Hand in hand 1268 00:56:06,896 --> 00:56:11,067 ♪ Strength to strength, man to man 1269 00:56:23,679 --> 00:56:25,949 (applause) 1270 00:56:31,086 --> 00:56:33,490 (chattering) 1271 00:56:37,026 --> 00:56:39,694 - So, Kip, what was it like working on Suck? 1272 00:56:39,728 --> 00:56:43,399 - Victor Fringe, I fucked the camera, cut. 1273 00:56:43,432 --> 00:56:45,000 - Kip, that's awesome. - You've got some 1274 00:56:45,034 --> 00:56:47,036 action man guns. - Yeah, right. 1275 00:56:47,069 --> 00:56:50,072 - Bang bang. - I will wreck you. 1276 00:56:50,105 --> 00:56:51,841 - Seriously, boys, from the heart. 1277 00:56:51,874 --> 00:56:53,075 You boys are solid. 1278 00:56:53,108 --> 00:56:54,610 You talk the talk, you get things done, eh? 1279 00:56:54,643 --> 00:56:57,480 - Thanks, Jack. - My balls are blue. 1280 00:56:57,513 --> 00:56:59,281 Yeah, well, cider makes me horny. 1281 00:56:59,315 --> 00:57:00,783 You know, I would totally bone this bottle if 1282 00:57:00,816 --> 00:57:05,221 my dick wasn't in the top 10% allocation under 30. 1283 00:57:05,254 --> 00:57:07,490 - Eastwood and Zeegrab. 1284 00:57:07,523 --> 00:57:08,925 - Do you want to make over the mall, Tiff? 1285 00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:10,326 - Suck a dick. 1286 00:57:10,359 --> 00:57:12,795 Just finished a workshop with Fairfax Ward. 1287 00:57:12,828 --> 00:57:14,297 - Who? - Oh, you know. 1288 00:57:14,330 --> 00:57:16,165 The hottest director ever. - Oh, that's debatable. 1289 00:57:16,198 --> 00:57:17,033 - Patrol. 1290 00:57:17,933 --> 00:57:20,136 Tiff, rum, hoofters. 1291 00:57:20,169 --> 00:57:21,004 Cosmo. 1292 00:57:21,971 --> 00:57:23,072 Jack Simpson. 1293 00:57:24,273 --> 00:57:25,708 I will wreck you. 1294 00:57:27,276 --> 00:57:30,613 - Dude, your fly's undone. - Easy access. 1295 00:57:34,783 --> 00:57:38,254 - I'm gonna get, does anyone want anything? 1296 00:57:38,287 --> 00:57:40,957 (hip hop music) 1297 00:57:43,025 --> 00:57:46,162 - So, rehearsals with Fairfax are amazing. 1298 00:57:46,195 --> 00:57:47,763 - I bet. - Take me out to dinner 1299 00:57:47,796 --> 00:57:51,301 tomorrow night. - Is the Chad gonna tag on? 1300 00:57:53,335 --> 00:57:58,307 Whatever gets you ahead, babe. - I fucking hate you. 1301 00:57:58,340 --> 00:58:00,676 - Just feel like a fucking phony, man. 1302 00:58:00,709 --> 00:58:01,977 I can't sing. 1303 00:58:02,011 --> 00:58:04,647 My fucking fringe is insured. 1304 00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,450 I just want to work in a Hobbyco. 1305 00:58:09,184 --> 00:58:11,087 - Come here, mate. 1306 00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:12,121 There we go. 1307 00:58:13,188 --> 00:58:15,091 - Hey boys. - Hey. 1308 00:58:15,124 --> 00:58:16,325 Jack. 1309 00:58:16,358 --> 00:58:18,828 - Still burning? - Yeah, mate, OK. 1310 00:58:19,762 --> 00:58:22,398 I'll just grab you a water. 1311 00:58:22,431 --> 00:58:23,833 - What's happening? 1312 00:58:23,866 --> 00:58:24,967 - Oh, Shay, sup? 1313 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:26,335 Come meet us, man. 1314 00:58:26,368 --> 00:58:27,670 We're at Life Car. 1315 00:58:27,703 --> 00:58:29,805 I've got to go, bye. 1316 00:58:29,838 --> 00:58:32,509 (hip hop music) 1317 00:58:55,731 --> 00:58:56,832 Ow. 1318 00:58:56,865 --> 00:58:58,167 - You suck. - Give me a minute. 1319 00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,035 I'll get it up, I promise. 1320 00:59:00,069 --> 00:59:01,003 Come back. 1321 00:59:01,036 --> 00:59:03,306 (retching) 1322 00:59:06,809 --> 00:59:09,111 - Gary, what the fuck? 1323 00:59:09,144 --> 00:59:10,312 You're a dick. 1324 00:59:13,248 --> 00:59:16,252 - Get out of here, man. - Smoke bomb? 1325 00:59:20,255 --> 00:59:22,659 ♪ Day by day 1326 00:59:23,826 --> 00:59:26,396 ♪ Hand in hand 1327 00:59:28,397 --> 00:59:30,633 ♪ Strength to strength 1328 00:59:30,666 --> 00:59:33,102 ♪ Man to man 1329 00:59:38,807 --> 00:59:40,408 (foreign language spoken) 1330 00:59:40,442 --> 00:59:41,577 - What's up, man? 1331 00:59:41,610 --> 00:59:44,147 You missed the best night, it was. 1332 00:59:57,626 --> 00:59:58,461 Is he OK? 1333 01:00:00,062 --> 01:00:02,632 - He's in ICU, he's unstable. 1334 01:00:02,665 --> 01:00:05,067 Just crossing the road, boys. 1335 01:00:12,541 --> 01:00:14,310 - What's all that about? 1336 01:00:14,343 --> 01:00:16,245 - It's all mad, won't let me see him. 1337 01:00:16,278 --> 01:00:17,546 - That's fucked. - Who's that fat prick 1338 01:00:17,579 --> 01:00:20,449 to say you can't see him? - The law. 1339 01:00:20,482 --> 01:00:21,651 - What do you mean it's the law? 1340 01:00:21,684 --> 01:00:23,719 - Well, the family has visitation rights. 1341 01:00:23,752 --> 01:00:25,054 - You guys are family, you've been together 1342 01:00:25,087 --> 01:00:26,322 for like eight years. - Yeah, I know, 1343 01:00:26,355 --> 01:00:30,093 but we're not married. - Well, you want to be. 1344 01:00:31,393 --> 01:00:32,895 That's a dumb law. 1345 01:00:34,096 --> 01:00:35,564 - We could speak to the nurse for you. 1346 01:00:35,597 --> 01:00:36,699 - I can do that. 1347 01:00:36,732 --> 01:00:38,434 I just can't see him. 1348 01:00:38,467 --> 01:00:40,102 - Man, when Carl wakes up, he's gonna bash that 1349 01:00:40,135 --> 01:00:40,970 fat fuck. 1350 01:00:42,838 --> 01:00:45,975 - So, when is he gonna wake up? 1351 01:00:46,008 --> 01:00:48,678 - When his brain stops swelling. 1352 01:00:50,979 --> 01:00:53,281 He was buying tickets for our anniversary. 1353 01:00:53,315 --> 01:00:55,284 It's where we met. 1354 01:00:55,317 --> 01:00:58,421 Just want to see next to some islander. 1355 01:00:58,454 --> 01:00:59,455 Tied as one. 1356 01:01:00,856 --> 01:01:02,458 I thought he was gonna bash me, but then he just 1357 01:01:02,491 --> 01:01:04,593 caught up and he shook my hand, 1358 01:01:04,626 --> 01:01:07,430 and just congratulated me. - Shay. 1359 01:01:07,463 --> 01:01:10,533 You know we leave in two days, right? 1360 01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:14,537 - So where does that leave you? 1361 01:01:14,570 --> 01:01:15,405 - Here. 1362 01:01:20,943 --> 01:01:23,012 I'm gonna e-mail you my Twitter deets. 1363 01:01:23,045 --> 01:01:24,213 All right? 1364 01:01:24,246 --> 01:01:26,916 You sort out the media shit tonight. 1365 01:01:32,588 --> 01:01:33,423 Oh, fuck. 1366 01:01:37,860 --> 01:01:39,061 - OK, mate. 1367 01:01:39,094 --> 01:01:41,197 (crying) 1368 01:01:42,765 --> 01:01:46,234 - I never seen Shay so upset. - Carl will wake up. 1369 01:01:46,268 --> 01:01:48,004 - What if he doesn't? 1370 01:01:49,605 --> 01:01:51,541 - He will. - You reckon? 1371 01:01:52,674 --> 01:01:55,344 - Just gotta believe he will, man. 1372 01:01:55,377 --> 01:01:57,580 - What if he doesn't? - Fuck, dude. 1373 01:01:57,613 --> 01:02:01,484 I don't know, like, what do you want me to say? 1374 01:02:02,518 --> 01:02:03,953 Oh. 1375 01:02:03,986 --> 01:02:06,989 Well, yeah, by the way, our show sucks, apparently. 1376 01:02:07,022 --> 01:02:09,491 Yep, it's like, what's this, an episode of South Park 1377 01:02:09,525 --> 01:02:10,960 except not funny. 1378 01:02:10,993 --> 01:02:12,461 Oh, this is good. 1379 01:02:12,494 --> 01:02:13,963 Despite a stunning finale, the writers lack insight 1380 01:02:13,996 --> 01:02:15,664 into the theme, and this is a good tweet, this one. 1381 01:02:15,697 --> 01:02:19,435 Worst casting of the decade, pairing a tween idol 1382 01:02:19,468 --> 01:02:22,238 and aging action star as star crossed lovers. 1383 01:02:22,271 --> 01:02:23,206 - Oh, fuck. 1384 01:02:24,907 --> 01:02:27,209 Fuck. - What are you doing, man? 1385 01:02:27,242 --> 01:02:28,744 - Man, no one else is out there trying to do anything 1386 01:02:28,777 --> 01:02:30,646 about marriage equality. - Yeah, well, maybe 1387 01:02:30,679 --> 01:02:31,547 they're right. 1388 01:02:31,580 --> 01:02:33,249 - Well, they're not. 1389 01:02:36,852 --> 01:02:39,788 - Oh, no fucking way. - Tweet that shit to the man. 1390 01:02:39,822 --> 01:02:42,124 Aging action star and tween idol dry fuck 1391 01:02:42,157 --> 01:02:44,927 in an alley, hashtag marriage equality. 1392 01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:47,730 - All right, tween idol, action star, 1393 01:02:47,763 --> 01:02:49,531 dry fuck in alley, attach image. 1394 01:02:49,565 --> 01:02:50,766 - Don't. - I'm not actually gonna 1395 01:02:50,799 --> 01:02:52,001 do it, dick, I'm just having a joke. 1396 01:02:52,034 --> 01:02:53,435 - It's not funny. - Fuck off. 1397 01:02:53,468 --> 01:02:54,970 - Neither are you, according to the reviews. 1398 01:02:55,003 --> 01:02:56,972 - I didn't read the tweet that said Gary isn't funny, 1399 01:02:57,005 --> 01:02:58,207 but Mark's hilarious. 1400 01:02:58,240 --> 01:02:59,274 Do you want to read that one to me, dickface? 1401 01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:00,276 - You're a fucking dickhead. 1402 01:03:00,309 --> 01:03:01,243 - You're soft. - No, I'm not. 1403 01:03:01,276 --> 01:03:02,578 - You are, call Beck Bernstein. 1404 01:03:02,611 --> 01:03:03,645 - Tell Tiff you gave her warts. 1405 01:03:03,679 --> 01:03:04,780 - No. - You're a fucking 1406 01:03:04,813 --> 01:03:05,981 loser, dude. - Yeah, well, you're 1407 01:03:06,014 --> 01:03:08,083 a fucking grandma dick faced shit fucker. 1408 01:03:08,116 --> 01:03:09,585 - Yeah, well, at least I got a fucking family 1409 01:03:09,618 --> 01:03:10,653 that like me. 1410 01:03:10,686 --> 01:03:12,421 (grunting) 1411 01:03:12,454 --> 01:03:14,891 Fuck, Gary, you fucking cock. 1412 01:03:17,659 --> 01:03:19,895 - What? - How do you delete a Tweet? 1413 01:03:19,928 --> 01:03:20,830 - Oh, fuck. 1414 01:03:26,969 --> 01:03:29,205 - Did you do it? - Yeah, it's fine. 1415 01:03:29,238 --> 01:03:30,071 - Fuck. 1416 01:03:31,106 --> 01:03:33,342 (laughing) 1417 01:03:34,943 --> 01:03:35,778 - Far out. 1418 01:03:37,446 --> 01:03:38,614 Hey, look, I'm 1419 01:03:41,383 --> 01:03:42,216 sorry. 1420 01:03:43,685 --> 01:03:45,387 You're too soft to call Beth Bernstein and 1421 01:03:45,420 --> 01:03:49,725 you fuck your grandma. - I'm sorry you spread warts. 1422 01:03:49,758 --> 01:03:51,828 And your family hates ya. 1423 01:03:55,530 --> 01:03:57,800 Fuck man, I hope Carl's OK. 1424 01:03:58,901 --> 01:04:00,837 - Me, too, man, me, too. 1425 01:04:08,210 --> 01:04:09,712 - Hey. - Hey, Jack. 1426 01:04:11,513 --> 01:04:13,348 - Fucking assholes. 1427 01:04:13,382 --> 01:04:15,117 How could you? 1428 01:04:15,150 --> 01:04:17,386 One point one million followers. 1429 01:04:17,419 --> 01:04:18,953 - Fuck, the tweet. 1430 01:04:18,987 --> 01:04:20,890 No, no, no, we deleted it, Jack. 1431 01:04:20,923 --> 01:04:22,991 - Too late, dickhead. - It was an accident. 1432 01:04:23,025 --> 01:04:24,293 - I'm so sorry. 1433 01:04:29,932 --> 01:04:31,033 - We're done. 1434 01:04:32,868 --> 01:04:33,769 - Kip's out. 1435 01:04:33,802 --> 01:04:35,304 Suck Two has been optioned. 1436 01:04:35,337 --> 01:04:36,572 - Oh, whatever. 1437 01:04:37,806 --> 01:04:39,275 - I'm leaving the show. 1438 01:04:39,308 --> 01:04:41,377 You hurt Jack's feelings. 1439 01:04:53,488 --> 01:04:54,656 - Two for one. 1440 01:04:58,293 --> 01:04:59,996 - [Gary] Thanks, Deb. 1441 01:05:01,930 --> 01:05:03,198 - There's not enough pepperoni. 1442 01:05:03,231 --> 01:05:06,035 - Yeah, or cheese. - Try this one. 1443 01:05:06,068 --> 01:05:07,436 - No, I don't like chicken. 1444 01:05:07,469 --> 01:05:10,005 - Too much chili. - Guys, these are gourmet. 1445 01:05:10,038 --> 01:05:11,674 - Well, it all turns to shit. 1446 01:05:11,707 --> 01:05:14,810 - OK, correct me if I'm wrong, but I am sensing 1447 01:05:14,843 --> 01:05:17,446 some bad vibes. - What, no. 1448 01:05:17,479 --> 01:05:19,147 I'm just not hungry. - No, it's not about 1449 01:05:19,181 --> 01:05:21,116 you hunger, it's about your energy. 1450 01:05:21,149 --> 01:05:22,518 - What? 1451 01:05:22,551 --> 01:05:24,520 - Just listening. - I'm not in the mood, Deb. 1452 01:05:24,553 --> 01:05:26,821 - What's happened with the show? 1453 01:05:26,855 --> 01:05:28,624 I'm sensing a disturbance. 1454 01:05:28,657 --> 01:05:30,392 - Jack left the show today. 1455 01:05:30,425 --> 01:05:31,694 - Something else. 1456 01:05:31,727 --> 01:05:33,328 Very bad vibes. 1457 01:05:33,362 --> 01:05:35,764 A friend. - Carl's in hospital. 1458 01:05:35,797 --> 01:05:37,433 - He'll be OK. 1459 01:05:37,466 --> 01:05:39,668 Something deeper. 1460 01:05:39,701 --> 01:05:40,536 Darker. 1461 01:05:42,571 --> 01:05:43,404 Doubt. 1462 01:05:45,607 --> 01:05:47,609 - We had an opportunity and we screwed it. 1463 01:05:47,642 --> 01:05:51,180 - Been in free fall ever since the Gilded Lilies. 1464 01:05:51,213 --> 01:05:52,681 - I quote. 1465 01:05:52,714 --> 01:05:54,750 A tender, honest love story the likes of which 1466 01:05:54,783 --> 01:05:56,051 no one has ever seen. 1467 01:05:56,084 --> 01:05:58,620 I defy anyone with a pulse not to relate. 1468 01:05:58,653 --> 01:06:00,122 Five stars, the Herald. 1469 01:06:00,155 --> 01:06:01,690 Tenth of a fifth, 2006. 1470 01:06:01,723 --> 01:06:04,894 - It was a fluke. - It was our Top Gun. 1471 01:06:06,795 --> 01:06:09,498 See, we never meant for Gilded Lilies to be gay. 1472 01:06:09,531 --> 01:06:13,067 The first draft, it was about these two guys 1473 01:06:13,101 --> 01:06:15,070 from the bush who were gonna come to the city 1474 01:06:15,103 --> 01:06:16,739 for a crack at professional footie. 1475 01:06:16,772 --> 01:06:18,474 - Late in rehearsal, some hotshot producer came in 1476 01:06:18,507 --> 01:06:21,110 and watched a run and he said it was one of the most 1477 01:06:21,143 --> 01:06:23,612 beautiful gay love stories he'd ever seen, 1478 01:06:23,645 --> 01:06:26,148 but he wanted to know why the two guys didn't kiss. 1479 01:06:26,181 --> 01:06:28,283 - Yeah, yeah, we made some shit up about how, like, 1480 01:06:28,316 --> 01:06:31,153 it would be more understated this way, it's more honest. 1481 01:06:31,186 --> 01:06:34,056 - But he was like adamant that the audience deserved 1482 01:06:34,089 --> 01:06:35,691 a kiss. - So, we put one in. 1483 01:06:35,724 --> 01:06:38,761 - And we'd written the seminal gay play of our generation. 1484 01:06:38,794 --> 01:06:41,296 - So? - So, we're phonies. 1485 01:06:41,329 --> 01:06:42,965 - To yourselves, maybe, but not to the thousands 1486 01:06:42,998 --> 01:06:45,367 that flocked to see it. 1487 01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,803 Not to beefcakes that were crying on my shoulder 1488 01:06:47,836 --> 01:06:50,906 when Shane and Wane finally passed. 1489 01:06:50,939 --> 01:06:52,408 - Yeah, well, if they read the first draft, 1490 01:06:52,441 --> 01:06:54,109 the would have seen that Shane and Wane 1491 01:06:54,142 --> 01:06:55,577 raped a chick on their first night in Sydney. 1492 01:06:55,610 --> 01:06:56,445 - Oh. 1493 01:06:57,412 --> 01:06:59,481 Well, they didn't. 1494 01:06:59,514 --> 01:07:01,150 Do you know why that story worked? 1495 01:07:01,183 --> 01:07:03,719 Because it came from the heart. 1496 01:07:03,752 --> 01:07:04,587 OK. 1497 01:07:07,722 --> 01:07:09,625 You guys are in a cryosleep. 1498 01:07:09,658 --> 01:07:12,261 You need to wake up, eat a space bar, 1499 01:07:12,294 --> 01:07:14,395 urinate, put your space suit on, type in 1500 01:07:14,429 --> 01:07:16,632 your coordinates, and trust your AI 1501 01:07:16,665 --> 01:07:19,235 to get you to your destination. 1502 01:07:20,469 --> 01:07:23,605 So, by AI I mean heart, and by destination, 1503 01:07:23,638 --> 01:07:25,040 I mean script. 1504 01:07:25,073 --> 01:07:27,009 You know how to fly. 1505 01:07:27,042 --> 01:07:28,110 I've seen it. 1506 01:07:29,511 --> 01:07:31,779 Oh, midnight cosplay. 1507 01:07:31,813 --> 01:07:32,882 Ninja vanish. 1508 01:07:35,851 --> 01:07:38,587 (dramatic music) 1509 01:08:12,053 --> 01:08:14,223 (yelling) 1510 01:08:18,393 --> 01:08:20,796 (rock music) 1511 01:09:02,037 --> 01:09:03,639 ♪ Well in the here and now 1512 01:09:03,671 --> 01:09:05,540 ♪ We're gonna take this town 1513 01:09:05,573 --> 01:09:08,844 ♪ We're gonna turn it inside out 1514 01:09:08,877 --> 01:09:10,412 ♪ With all our hopes and dreams 1515 01:09:10,444 --> 01:09:12,880 ♪ Up on the silver screen 1516 01:09:12,913 --> 01:09:16,018 ♪ Come on, baby, our time is now 1517 01:09:16,051 --> 01:09:17,719 ♪ I don't know what to do 1518 01:09:17,752 --> 01:09:19,621 ♪ But I know if I'm with you 1519 01:09:19,654 --> 01:09:22,891 ♪ We got the cards stacked in our deck 1520 01:09:22,924 --> 01:09:24,693 ♪ Before it gets too late 1521 01:09:24,725 --> 01:09:27,196 ♪ We'll climb the Empire State 1522 01:09:27,229 --> 01:09:30,165 ♪ Come on, baby, the time is now 1523 01:09:30,198 --> 01:09:33,669 ♪ I see the city lights 1524 01:09:33,702 --> 01:09:37,272 ♪ Boy, they twinkle in your eyes 1525 01:09:37,305 --> 01:09:40,943 ♪ Won't let you out of my sight, boy 1526 01:09:40,975 --> 01:09:44,845 ♪ Come on, baby, our time is now. 1527 01:09:44,879 --> 01:09:46,115 - Hey, Charlie. 1528 01:09:48,683 --> 01:09:50,118 - What the fuck is this? 1529 01:09:50,151 --> 01:09:51,720 The show you were supposed to write, 1530 01:09:51,752 --> 01:09:53,455 the show I programmed, is not the show 1531 01:09:53,488 --> 01:09:54,957 that you've written. 1532 01:09:54,990 --> 01:09:56,791 You've cast yourselves as the lead, you got bad press. 1533 01:09:56,825 --> 01:09:58,961 People are asking for their money back. 1534 01:09:58,994 --> 01:10:00,495 And at what point were you planning on telling me 1535 01:10:00,528 --> 01:10:03,565 you lost Jack fucking Simpson? 1536 01:10:03,598 --> 01:10:05,634 - Just, it didn't work out, man. 1537 01:10:05,667 --> 01:10:06,802 - That's an understatement. 1538 01:10:06,835 --> 01:10:08,303 - We think this one's really special. 1539 01:10:08,336 --> 01:10:09,805 - Billy and Me? - Yeah, yeah. 1540 01:10:09,838 --> 01:10:11,039 Did you read it? 1541 01:10:11,072 --> 01:10:12,007 - Despite the fact I want to punch you both 1542 01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:13,909 in the balls, it's not half bad. 1543 01:10:13,942 --> 01:10:15,577 - It uses the same set-- - Costume design. 1544 01:10:15,610 --> 01:10:17,913 - I will not program a show with two unknown actors 1545 01:10:17,946 --> 01:10:20,148 from Australia without a star. 1546 01:10:20,181 --> 01:10:22,317 If you don't find me a star by six PM tonight, 1547 01:10:22,350 --> 01:10:23,852 I'm pulling the fucking thing. 1548 01:10:23,885 --> 01:10:26,388 And if I pull the fucking show, you're picking up 1549 01:10:26,421 --> 01:10:28,357 the fucking check. - OK. 1550 01:10:30,825 --> 01:10:32,027 - [Man] Get your star maps here. 1551 01:10:32,060 --> 01:10:33,829 Lifestyles of the rich and famous. 1552 01:10:33,862 --> 01:10:35,030 Star maps. 1553 01:10:35,063 --> 01:10:38,300 - Dude, star maps, like celebrity addresses. 1554 01:10:38,333 --> 01:10:40,335 - Give me your phone, give me your phone, quick. 1555 01:10:40,368 --> 01:10:42,604 - Hey, Google that shit. 1556 01:10:42,637 --> 01:10:46,174 Like New York celebrity something, addresses. 1557 01:10:46,207 --> 01:10:48,143 Is there like a-- - Ricky Gervais, 1558 01:10:48,176 --> 01:10:51,280 Neil Patrick Harris, Donald Trump, all within one mile. 1559 01:10:51,313 --> 01:10:53,482 - Wait, but Donald Trump, dude, he's like a 1560 01:10:53,515 --> 01:10:55,050 billionaire businessman guy. 1561 01:10:55,083 --> 01:10:56,485 - No, I get a really good vibe from him. 1562 01:10:56,518 --> 01:10:57,786 - He's not doing our play, he's not an actor. 1563 01:10:57,819 --> 01:10:59,054 - Neither is anyone else, at the moment, 1564 01:10:59,087 --> 01:11:01,323 so let's just keep our options open, OK? 1565 01:11:01,356 --> 01:11:02,190 - OK. 1566 01:11:02,223 --> 01:11:04,727 (beat boxing) 1567 01:11:06,294 --> 01:11:08,530 - Mr. Gervais, thanks so much for meeting us. 1568 01:11:08,563 --> 01:11:10,932 We've got this great play, you'd be excellent in it. 1569 01:11:10,965 --> 01:11:12,401 It's a small commitment, you literally open 1570 01:11:12,434 --> 01:11:13,802 and close the show. 1571 01:11:13,835 --> 01:11:17,773 It's five nights, $50,000, what do you say? 1572 01:11:17,806 --> 01:11:19,840 - Are you having a laugh? - Fuck, dude, 1573 01:11:19,874 --> 01:11:21,143 he's not actually gonna say that. 1574 01:11:21,176 --> 01:11:22,544 - He might. - Well, he's not going to. 1575 01:11:22,577 --> 01:11:23,412 - Mm. 1576 01:11:25,280 --> 01:11:27,148 - Thanks, Gary, that's really helpful. 1577 01:11:27,182 --> 01:11:28,150 - Well, I'm just saying he might. 1578 01:11:28,183 --> 01:11:29,351 - Well, he's not going to, is he? 1579 01:11:29,384 --> 01:11:30,485 - Every possible scenario, isn't it? 1580 01:11:30,518 --> 01:11:32,120 Hey, just after Ricky Gervais. 1581 01:11:32,153 --> 01:11:34,456 (laughing) - OK. 1582 01:11:34,489 --> 01:11:36,023 ♪ Start spreading the news 1583 01:11:36,057 --> 01:11:38,727 ♪ We're here today 1584 01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,462 - Hi, Pauly Shore there, please. 1585 01:11:40,495 --> 01:11:41,630 - Not here. - OK. 1586 01:11:41,663 --> 01:11:42,998 (beat boxing) 1587 01:11:43,031 --> 01:11:45,500 - Hi, my name's Mark, I was hoping Keanu Reeves 1588 01:11:45,533 --> 01:11:47,069 was there please? - Yeah, who the fuck is this? 1589 01:11:47,102 --> 01:11:48,269 - Oh, we've written him a script. 1590 01:11:48,303 --> 01:11:50,539 - Why, what for? - We're from Australia. 1591 01:11:50,572 --> 01:11:52,140 Sorry, this is Gary, hi, yeah. 1592 01:11:52,173 --> 01:11:53,675 Yes, Keanu, from the Matrix. 1593 01:11:53,708 --> 01:11:54,843 - [Man] I don't know who the fuck you are, 1594 01:11:54,876 --> 01:11:56,111 but you ain't seeing Keanu. 1595 01:11:56,144 --> 01:11:57,379 - You don't have to be aggressive about it. 1596 01:11:57,412 --> 01:11:59,047 - [Man] Yeah, well, I do, it's fucking Keanu. 1597 01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:01,583 - Yeah, angry American. - I'm from America. 1598 01:12:01,616 --> 01:12:04,019 Mr. Sandman bring me a dream. 1599 01:12:08,223 --> 01:12:10,092 - Oh, yeah, just after Denzel. - Denzel who? 1600 01:12:10,125 --> 01:12:11,026 - Washington. 1601 01:12:11,059 --> 01:12:12,661 Hey, just after Alec Baldwin. 1602 01:12:12,694 --> 01:12:14,496 - Hi, we're after Ian Ziering. 1603 01:12:14,529 --> 01:12:16,231 Hi, is Mr. T there please? - Why don't you 1604 01:12:16,264 --> 01:12:18,166 fuck off, sucker? - OK. 1605 01:12:18,199 --> 01:12:20,702 (beat boxing) 1606 01:12:21,669 --> 01:12:22,904 - No, we've come this far, man. 1607 01:12:22,937 --> 01:12:24,506 - No, fuck it, man. 1608 01:12:24,539 --> 01:12:26,875 Fuck New York, fuck our play, fuck marriage equality, 1609 01:12:26,908 --> 01:12:28,377 fuck Rocky. 1610 01:12:28,410 --> 01:12:30,379 I just want to eat take out, move to the suburbs, 1611 01:12:30,412 --> 01:12:31,780 get fat. 1612 01:12:31,813 --> 01:12:34,816 I'm gonna get so fucking fat, man. 1613 01:12:34,849 --> 01:12:36,752 Gonna buy some track suit pants. 1614 01:12:36,785 --> 01:12:38,653 Gonna work in a call center, watch porn 1615 01:12:38,686 --> 01:12:40,922 while my bogard wife sucks my dick. 1616 01:12:40,955 --> 01:12:42,624 I don't give a fuck. 1617 01:12:44,559 --> 01:12:45,994 It's fucked, man. 1618 01:12:48,897 --> 01:12:49,965 - [Man] Lily. 1619 01:12:53,368 --> 01:12:54,203 - Hi. 1620 01:12:55,136 --> 01:12:56,638 We're Mark and Gary. 1621 01:12:56,671 --> 01:12:59,040 In 2007, someone in your office took out an option 1622 01:12:59,073 --> 01:13:00,942 on the screen adaptation of the play, 1623 01:13:00,975 --> 01:13:02,411 the Gilded Lilies. - Yeah, now we're over here, 1624 01:13:02,444 --> 01:13:04,613 we're opening the New York Festival with arguably 1625 01:13:04,646 --> 01:13:06,882 the most important play ever. 1626 01:13:06,915 --> 01:13:08,784 - Now, there's still one role to be cast, 1627 01:13:08,817 --> 01:13:12,821 the age range is 18 to 85, ethnicity all. 1628 01:13:12,854 --> 01:13:15,624 $50,000 for five days work. 1629 01:13:15,657 --> 01:13:16,825 You do the math. 1630 01:13:16,858 --> 01:13:19,961 - Yeah, we got like 46 minutes, so. 1631 01:13:19,994 --> 01:13:21,263 Shall we dance? 1632 01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:28,103 (jazzy music) 1633 01:14:04,672 --> 01:14:05,907 - Well, cheers. 1634 01:14:09,077 --> 01:14:10,746 - Here's to failure. 1635 01:14:13,915 --> 01:14:15,584 - [Man] Have some chili, I want a little chili there. 1636 01:14:15,617 --> 01:14:16,651 - No. 1637 01:14:16,684 --> 01:14:17,919 - [Man] I want just a handful. 1638 01:14:17,952 --> 01:14:19,421 - We're trying to toast, mate. 1639 01:14:19,454 --> 01:14:21,121 - [Man] I thought you were supposed to be friendly. 1640 01:14:21,155 --> 01:14:23,657 - Fuck. - Thanks, thanks. 1641 01:14:23,691 --> 01:14:25,360 (phone ringing) 1642 01:14:25,393 --> 01:14:27,563 Oh, yeah, this is McBebee. 1643 01:14:31,199 --> 01:14:32,034 Where? 1644 01:14:32,901 --> 01:14:34,169 Are you nuts or what? 1645 01:14:34,202 --> 01:14:35,370 You know what? 1646 01:14:35,403 --> 01:14:37,005 Do me a favor, send it to my agent. 1647 01:14:37,038 --> 01:14:38,205 I mean, that's great. 1648 01:14:38,239 --> 01:14:41,175 Send it to my agent, all right? 1649 01:14:41,209 --> 01:14:42,611 I said send it to my agent. 1650 01:14:42,644 --> 01:14:45,247 Don't you speak English, you moron? 1651 01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:46,114 OK, bye. 1652 01:14:47,582 --> 01:14:49,818 - Sorry, are you Neville McBebee? 1653 01:14:49,851 --> 01:14:50,986 - Yeah, that's me. 1654 01:14:51,019 --> 01:14:53,321 (laughing) 1655 01:14:53,354 --> 01:14:54,690 What's so funny? 1656 01:14:56,558 --> 01:14:58,260 Is there something wrong with you guys? 1657 01:14:58,293 --> 01:15:00,529 - I'm Mark. - Yeah, I'm Gary. 1658 01:15:00,562 --> 01:15:01,963 - I'm McBebee, but I don't get it. 1659 01:15:01,996 --> 01:15:04,199 - We're probably like your biggest fans. 1660 01:15:04,232 --> 01:15:06,167 - Yeah, we've seen like everything you've done. 1661 01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:09,037 - Your work in Who's the Boss, that was amazing. 1662 01:15:09,070 --> 01:15:10,505 It made me cry. - You want to know something? 1663 01:15:10,538 --> 01:15:14,276 Tony Danza was the most incredible guy to work for. 1664 01:15:14,309 --> 01:15:15,443 - Yeah, I bet he was. 1665 01:15:15,476 --> 01:15:16,911 - That was fabulous. 1666 01:15:16,945 --> 01:15:19,714 - Hey, like, this is total long shot, but are you 1667 01:15:19,747 --> 01:15:21,416 free next week? 1668 01:15:21,449 --> 01:15:23,951 Are you free? - I might be, why? 1669 01:15:23,985 --> 01:15:25,320 What have you got up your sleeve? 1670 01:15:25,353 --> 01:15:27,556 - Well, we're writers, we're from Australia. 1671 01:15:27,589 --> 01:15:29,357 - We've got a new play that's opening the 1672 01:15:29,390 --> 01:15:31,960 New York Festival, we've got about four minutes 1673 01:15:31,993 --> 01:15:33,828 to find a lead actor or else we're gonna be 1674 01:15:33,861 --> 01:15:35,530 shipped back to Australia. - With the bill for 1675 01:15:35,563 --> 01:15:38,767 the festival's losses. - OK, and what do you 1676 01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:39,834 want me to do, then? 1677 01:15:39,867 --> 01:15:41,002 - Have a read. 1678 01:15:41,035 --> 01:15:42,103 Do you want to look at the script? 1679 01:15:42,136 --> 01:15:43,104 - Say what? - Can you have a look 1680 01:15:43,137 --> 01:15:43,905 at the script? - Yeah, sure, 1681 01:15:43,938 --> 01:15:45,373 let me look at it. 1682 01:15:45,406 --> 01:15:46,608 - Yeah, but like you only have to do the opening 1683 01:15:46,641 --> 01:15:48,076 and closing monologue. - But it's not like 1684 01:15:48,109 --> 01:15:49,311 an audition or anything, I mean, you're Neville McBebee, 1685 01:15:49,344 --> 01:15:50,679 your work in Cheers and Family Ties is just-- 1686 01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:52,113 - I cried in that, too, by the way. 1687 01:15:52,146 --> 01:15:54,416 - When Virtue left you in Days of Our Lives. 1688 01:15:54,449 --> 01:15:56,951 - Yeah, what do you want me to read? 1689 01:15:56,985 --> 01:15:58,987 - Page 96. - OK. 1690 01:15:59,020 --> 01:16:02,257 You want to give me a little synopsis on this? 1691 01:16:02,290 --> 01:16:04,926 - So, like, your boyfriend's been hit by a car, 1692 01:16:04,959 --> 01:16:07,295 he's in hospital, he's probably gonna die, 1693 01:16:07,328 --> 01:16:09,264 the family won't let you see him, 1694 01:16:09,297 --> 01:16:11,665 and the speech there, it's to the father. 1695 01:16:11,699 --> 01:16:13,067 So just from. 1696 01:16:13,101 --> 01:16:13,936 - OK. 1697 01:16:15,336 --> 01:16:17,472 He might not last the night, and you guys got me 1698 01:16:17,505 --> 01:16:19,207 waiting outside like a dog. 1699 01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:21,242 I get it, you guys don't want me here. 1700 01:16:21,275 --> 01:16:23,478 But he's the most important person in my life. 1701 01:16:23,511 --> 01:16:25,513 I felt that the moment I met him. 1702 01:16:25,546 --> 01:16:27,482 When the Tigers won, I thought he was gonna 1703 01:16:27,515 --> 01:16:28,984 punch me in the face. 1704 01:16:29,017 --> 01:16:30,919 But instead he looked at me with the most beautiful 1705 01:16:30,952 --> 01:16:33,488 softness in his eyes, offered me a beer, 1706 01:16:33,521 --> 01:16:35,056 and shook my hand. 1707 01:16:35,089 --> 01:16:37,092 Neither one of us choose to be this, 1708 01:16:37,125 --> 01:16:38,960 but we did choose each other. 1709 01:16:38,993 --> 01:16:40,295 You can't keep me away. 1710 01:16:40,328 --> 01:16:42,497 I have to see him, please. 1711 01:16:44,165 --> 01:16:45,500 - That was mind blowing. 1712 01:16:45,533 --> 01:16:46,935 That was amazing. 1713 01:16:48,236 --> 01:16:50,205 - So, when do you want to start now? 1714 01:16:50,238 --> 01:16:51,640 - Really? - Yeah, really. 1715 01:16:51,673 --> 01:16:54,608 You know what, I can't rehearse because I got 1716 01:16:54,642 --> 01:16:57,212 a guest role on Big Bang Theory. 1717 01:16:57,245 --> 01:16:59,014 - That's OK, that was awesome. 1718 01:16:59,047 --> 01:17:00,848 - You know what, we'll make it work. 1719 01:17:00,882 --> 01:17:02,718 - Can I just ask, why? 1720 01:17:04,452 --> 01:17:07,355 - Why, because when I was a kid, just like 1721 01:17:07,388 --> 01:17:11,425 you guys, I come from Queens, I had a big dream, 1722 01:17:11,459 --> 01:17:14,062 and you guys remind me of that. 1723 01:17:15,196 --> 01:17:18,867 Plus I'll get some props playing a fruitcake. 1724 01:17:19,834 --> 01:17:22,571 (dramatic music) 1725 01:17:27,175 --> 01:17:28,943 - Friend requested Beth Bernstein. 1726 01:17:28,976 --> 01:17:30,178 - Oh yeah? 1727 01:17:30,211 --> 01:17:31,446 Did she accept? - She has six kids 1728 01:17:31,479 --> 01:17:34,082 and about 60 extra pounds. - Oh. 1729 01:17:35,383 --> 01:17:37,952 I told Tiff. - About the warts? 1730 01:17:37,985 --> 01:17:38,920 How? - Text. 1731 01:17:40,722 --> 01:17:43,791 Neville fucking McBebee. - Killing it. 1732 01:17:44,726 --> 01:17:46,061 - The Bebenator. 1733 01:17:51,599 --> 01:17:53,935 - You're right, you know. - About what? 1734 01:17:53,968 --> 01:17:54,803 - Rocky. 1735 01:17:57,371 --> 01:17:58,940 It is a love story. 1736 01:18:00,007 --> 01:18:02,210 (applause) 1737 01:18:05,646 --> 01:18:07,549 Here we go, eh? 1738 01:18:07,582 --> 01:18:10,318 (dramatic music) 1739 01:18:22,196 --> 01:18:25,033 - [Narrator] So Billy and Me went on to win many awards, 1740 01:18:25,066 --> 01:18:28,737 with Neville McBebeee scooping the Tony. 1741 01:18:28,770 --> 01:18:31,206 Gilded Lilies finally got picked up. 1742 01:18:31,239 --> 01:18:33,241 It was sure to be a hit. 1743 01:18:34,408 --> 01:18:36,177 Deb and Alan got married and opened 1744 01:18:36,210 --> 01:18:38,546 their own interpretive dance studio. 1745 01:18:38,579 --> 01:18:41,148 They also taught salsa. 1746 01:18:41,182 --> 01:18:43,785 The Suck franchise ventured into new territory, 1747 01:18:43,818 --> 01:18:47,789 with the first ever man on man vampire love story. 1748 01:18:47,822 --> 01:18:50,725 In the end, Jack thanked the boys for accidentally 1749 01:18:50,758 --> 01:18:54,763 outing him on Twitter, making him out and proud. 1750 01:18:55,930 --> 01:18:58,500 Mark and Gary won the Nobel Prize, 1751 01:18:59,901 --> 01:19:02,170 which allowed them to fulfill a lifelong dream, 1752 01:19:02,203 --> 01:19:04,206 to eat tacos with Obama. 1753 01:19:18,686 --> 01:19:20,922 (melancholy music)